Legend of Zelda Wind Waker
Welcome to Ye Olde Boat Shoppe, which has been in our family for so many generations that we never bothered to give it a flashy name. Just to be clear, we make new boats that are tailored to your specifications. There’s some confusion since it does sound like we only sell old boats. Look, we’d change the name, but that risks the fury of our ancestors in the form of ghosts that yodel sea shanties. It’s a very strange family curse placed on us by a mildly annoyed Pirate Queen after she stubbed her toe on that step by the front door that nobody ever sees. Can’t change it either because of the H.O.A. Are you going to order a boat or pay me for my biography?
A small vessel that can be manned by a single person and carry a lot of gear. So you want a magic ship. Let’s get the enchantments out of the way. This would include a mast that controls the wind, a fortified hull, a self-adjusting rudder, and three holding boxes. One will be for ship supplies, another for food and drink, and the last one would be for miscellaneous. These are standard for such a ship and the price depends on how you want the enchantments to be forged. Cheap means a powerful caster did the job with regular supplies, which can be undone in various situations. A more durable set can be purchased if you want the blessing of a deity, which can come with either a deadly quest or the curse of never staying more than a day on land. Our most expensive one is . . . don’t you want to hear it? Fine, one Sacrifice of the Family ritual coming up. Well, I guess it doesn’t have to be your family specifically. Let’s move on.
Are you thinking of weapons too? We do have the Mast Denter 6000 on sale along with a bag of cannonball regeneration. It is still rather pricey, but you seem like a person where money is no object. That small one with the sparkles is our Baby Mermaid model, which has unlimited ammunition. Don’t get too excited because it fires cupcakes instead of cannonballs. I don’t think there’s a big market for hunting down diabetic pirates. I know I said weapons, but cannons are really it for this day and age. Given the size of your ship, you won’t need more than that and should focus on maneuverability. No, the gnomes have not invented torpedoes, missiles, or . . . are you sure you’re in the right genre?
Do you want this ship to look like anything specific? A boat . . . I walked right into that one. Just tell me colors, flags, designs on the side, the figurehead, or anything beyond the pieces. Dark red is good and putting foam designs along the bottom isn’t too bad. Squid flags are out of stock right now, but we do have a few octopus left. Sea Urchin would be a special order since there aren’t many calls for that. That leaves us with the figurehead and we have many choices. One that talks? Going back to enchantments, huh? You want a busty woman with black hair and a bikini, but she speaks like a foul-mouthed pirate. Oh, not like a foul-mouthed pirate, but her voice is male and she curses when giving you directions. Free of charge on that one only because I really want to hear the stories that come from it.
Legends of Windemere 
Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
I love these little scenarios by Charles 😄
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Thanks for the reblog. 🙂
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Welcome Charles 👍😃
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You really outdid yourself on this one. Ghosts who haunt by singing sea shanties, enchanted figureheads. I love it.
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Thanks. I had a lot of fun here. Definitely was one of the smoothest running skits in the last few months.
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It’s interesting how the fun comes across some times, isn’t it? I could tell.
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I think we tend to forget how much can come across. One of the reasons I get nervous about writing when I’m not in the right mood.
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I have to write when I can. Sometimes I produce stuff I can’t use, other times it needs heavy editing. Occasionally, it comes out okay.
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I’m trying to be more meticulous with my writing time, but this year has been tough. The mood is getting harder to grab and maintain.
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I find that switching sub-genres helps. Did you find that with Bedlam and others?
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It depended on my stress levels. Bedlam allows me to be a little freer since it’s a young series and less serious. I still have to muscle through days where I’m feeling like crap both mentally and physically. I’ve had so many down periods this year that it’s getting ridiculous.
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I’m kind of in one now myself. I need to work on my novel, but I have a whole new book of short stories in mind. I decided spending time on publishing related issues might be a good break in that it’s still productive.
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My summer writing time is really limited, so I’m inching through the next Bedlam book. Figure that’s lower stakes than the next Windemere one. Especially since I need to get my head together for the bigger project. It takes an odd turn and follows someone other than the champions.
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Sounds like there are similarities to why I write short form. It’s a nice break and clears the head. The recent batch makes me want to get back to science fiction though. I think the next big project will be SF again.
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Cool. Do you have any ideas for a story or just the genre?
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I think the next novel will be called Grinders. These are people who do home body modifications like microchips and cellular injections that let them see in the dark. Of course I’m going to take it to a ridiculous extreme.
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Very cool. Reminds me of some all those comic book characters who modified themselves like that.
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I have a loose outline, and it will probably be the next one. Won’t happen this year though.
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This was great.
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Thanks. I just went wild with it. 🙂
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Ha ha ha. Beautiful.
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life.
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Thanks for the reblog. 🙂
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Pleasure Charles.. have a good weekend. .
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Ha ha! Love this, Charles! “Don’t get too excited because it fires cupcakes instead of cannonballs.” Hilarious!
Can I get one that fires candy? That would be nice come parade time. Though some kids might get hurt.
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If only all of us had cupcake cannons, the world would be a happier place. I wouldn’t want a candy cannon though because, as you said, they’d probably hurt.
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More than likely yes. I could go for a cupcake cannon or just a cupcake right about now.
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Me too. Lacking in cupcakes, ice cream, and all other sweets in this house.
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Great fun!
I was just daydreaming as I read this, Charles! I want a moat made of molten chocolate. But, if I HAD a moat made out of chocolate, I wouldn’t have it long.
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That is a difficult one. Then again, I’d think a chocolate moat would attract animals. Maybe just chocolate coming out of the faucets?
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As a sailor, I’d love this boat. But I want a hunky blond man as my first mate! Good job, Charles!
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You’re welcome. I don’t think they do crew recruitment. That might be a more modern store or Craig’s List.
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I just happened to overhear you talking to that last guy… Do you really have a cupcake cannon? I’m interested in getting two on my next boat… Yes, I’m buying from you, why wouldn’t I?
Do you build triremes? Just a small one person job? Maybe with candy shields mounted in the sides and a confetti catapult? No, not paper confetti, magic confetti that explodes on contact with water to create pudding or fruit flavored gelatin? You only have the confetti that turns into chocolate milk ce cream? I guess that’ll have to do.
Could I get a figurehead that sings about candy and ice cream? I’m not obsessed with sugar! I’m going after a pirate chief who just happens to be a dessert chef, he’s the one obsessed with sugar and I need to distract him while I sneak onto his ship and steal a book and a genie.
So, can you help?
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We can work on a trireme, but I’m not sure if it can work for one person. Maybe with some enchanted oars. As far as the armaments go, I wouldn’t recommend the candy shields. They attract gulls and only last for a few days before going stale. Surprised there’s still a market for them.
If you insist then we can put all of that together. Though, I would suggest an inflatable raft in case this Dessert Pirate eats your ship before you can return. That happens more often than you would think. If he’s the superstitious type then we also have the Dead Ship Generator that makes your vessel look like a ghost ship. Not as sugary, but it won’t attract so many animals.
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Sounds great! I’ll take everything! If the Dead Ship Generator can be integrated with the candy, I’d like to call my new ship the ‘Ghost of Sugar Past’.
Now how soon can I get my ship and how much will it cost? You do take doughnuts in payment, right?
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It might work, but on the visual side. The ship will still smell like candy. Illusion magic does have its limits. We only take money because our suppliers only take money. Starting to wonder where people got that idea we’re a sweet-based economy over here.
The ship will take 2 weeks for ordering special parts, labor, test runs, and our head designer recovering from that pun name. I think he fainted into the organic rigging garden.
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How much for a capsize-resistant coating?
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Two doubloons per square meter. They come in blue, green, and polka dot.
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I’ll take polka dots.
Loved this. How much fun you must have had writing what I had so much fun reading.
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It was a lot of fun. Totally off the cuff too. 🙂
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