Welcome to Ye Olde Boat Shoppe, which has been in our family for so many generations that we never bothered to give it a flashy name. Just to be clear, we make new boats that are tailored to your specifications. There’s some confusion since it does sound like we only sell old boats. Look, we’d change the name, but that risks the fury of our ancestors in the form of ghosts that yodel sea shanties. It’s a very strange family curse placed on us by a mildly annoyed Pirate Queen after she stubbed her toe on that step by the front door that nobody ever sees. Can’t change it either because of the H.O.A. Are you going to order a boat or pay me for my biography?
A small vessel that can be manned by a single person and carry a lot of gear. So you want a magic ship. Let’s get the enchantments out of the way. This would include a mast that controls the wind, a fortified hull, a self-adjusting rudder, and three holding boxes. One will be for ship supplies, another for food and drink, and the last one would be for miscellaneous. These are standard for such a ship and the price depends on how you want the enchantments to be forged. Cheap means a powerful caster did the job with regular supplies, which can be undone in various situations. A more durable set can be purchased if you want the blessing of a deity, which can come with either a deadly quest or the curse of never staying more than a day on land. Our most expensive one is . . . don’t you want to hear it? Fine, one Sacrifice of the Family ritual coming up. Well, I guess it doesn’t have to be your family specifically. Let’s move on.
Are you thinking of weapons too? We do have the Mast Denter 6000 on sale along with a bag of cannonball regeneration. It is still rather pricey, but you seem like a person where money is no object. That small one with the sparkles is our Baby Mermaid model, which has unlimited ammunition. Don’t get too excited because it fires cupcakes instead of cannonballs. I don’t think there’s a big market for hunting down diabetic pirates. I know I said weapons, but cannons are really it for this day and age. Given the size of your ship, you won’t need more than that and should focus on maneuverability. No, the gnomes have not invented torpedoes, missiles, or . . . are you sure you’re in the right genre?
Do you want this ship to look like anything specific? A boat . . . I walked right into that one. Just tell me colors, flags, designs on the side, the figurehead, or anything beyond the pieces. Dark red is good and putting foam designs along the bottom isn’t too bad. Squid flags are out of stock right now, but we do have a few octopus left. Sea Urchin would be a special order since there aren’t many calls for that. That leaves us with the figurehead and we have many choices. One that talks? Going back to enchantments, huh? You want a busty woman with black hair and a bikini, but she speaks like a foul-mouthed pirate. Oh, not like a foul-mouthed pirate, but her voice is male and she curses when giving you directions. Free of charge on that one only because I really want to hear the stories that come from it.