So you want to be a barbarian. Well, you have the size for it and that intimidating stare is chilling. Still, you need the attitude and ferocity that comes with controlling a churning rage that has been kept under control for generations. For that we’ll need a test. I’m going to slap you around for a bit and you’re going to behave. Don’t ask why I’m putting on metal gloves. Barbarians don’t get worried about such things. Here we go . . . Well, you took that like a champ. Grab a mug and we’ll get to business.
First, you need to pick a weapon. Most go for large things like axes, mauls, or severed branches. There’s the crossbow option too. Of course you can have two of those, but it’d be hard to load them. True, that would give you two distance attacks and then you can get close. We have some daggers, but they aren’t a popular item. Have you seen the size of your hands? A dagger would look ridiculous in those mitts and I’m fairly certain you’d slice the tips of your fingers off. What do you mean that dagger? You’re pointing at a two-handed broadsword that is typically used to kill a man and his horse in one blow. Maybe I hit you in the head too hard.
Now we do have lesson to help with wilderness skills and sense enhancement. Tracking and hunting are highly recommended. Both of those classes have openings, so you don’t have to worry about space. Bashing solid objects with your head and ignoring blizzard conditions are booked for a month. May I recommend animal husbandry? Nobody ever takes that one. Well, you can pick a sense or two to get trained because those always help in the wild. They’re all self-explanatory. Sense of smell is a great choice and . . . sense of taste is an odd one. I’ll have to call the teacher back from his five year vacation since it wasn’t very popular. Mind if I ask why those too? Not sure what coffee has to do with it, but you’re the customer.
Let’s see what we got left. Clothing is covered in a hunting class. We’ll move onto the scars that you want. It isn’t like getting a tattoo since you can’t get it removed and I won’t be the one giving it to you. We have an extensive menagerie on the premises and you pick what you want to fight. I can call the beasts off and send in the healers once you get what you want. Just pick what you want and I’ll get them ready. Here’s the catalog. The thing on the cover is only a design, so that isn’t an option. Just flip through and make your decisions. You’ll see we have pictures of the most common scars too. That’s a field mouse and it’s only in there for completion. How about you pick something dangerous and I’ll give you the mouse for free? We don’t have one thousand field mice because that would be a health code violation. I definitely hit you in the head too hard.