Chris Rock (For those that don’t recognize him)
The biggest part of any social media platform is . . . likes. Coming in second is making friends, which has been the most enjoyable part of my time here. I found a lot of support for my writing career, supported other great indie authors, and made friends outside of that arena to get a lot of interesting insight to just about everything. I still avoid talking about the dreaded topics of religion, politics, and anything that can lead to an -ism. That’s just me though.
There is an interesting sense of survival that comes with the 2 year mark. Many people that I met earlier on have vanished from the landscape or at least my corner. Some have been deleted, other blogs have been left abandoned, and still others have gone on with us gradually going our separate ways. It reminds me a little of high school and college, but with a quicker rate of evolution. I still talk to most of my high school friends and several of my college friends while I lost contact with others. That happened over the course of years while the blogging thing happened over the course of months.
I was tempted once to figure out what caused this, but I think it’s just human nature. Most of us end up having more meetings and acquaintances than long-lasting friendships. Once that initial spark of ‘new person’ is over, you get under the surface to see if the friendship is going to last longer. For myself, I’ve made several connections that I wouldn’t want to live without. I get worried when these people vanish for a few days or when they mention a rough patch. It’ll be nice to see how many new people I meet in the coming year.
To be honest, I can’t say all of my meetings have been good here. There’s been a few, for lack of a better term, immature events that I stumbled into. I’m guilty of drama too, but I think we forget that a good portion of human communication is missing from social media. You lack voice tone, facial expression, and body language to get exactly what a person might mean. That has led to a few blogging wars that I’ve witnessed and tried my best to stay out of. Still it’s rather disheartening to watch because these events always cause two camps to appear, which creates a divide among people. One has to wonder if some of these things would have occurred outside of social media or if they could have been settled without a cheering audience. I do think the public battle makes it worse because it allows other people to leap into a public fight that might have been easier to defuse in private. This is probably the biggest downside to blogging that I’ve found and I’m glad it isn’t a common occurrence.
So what have I learned about friends/followers while blogging?
- Be active on other blogs to make friends. Reciprocation is great on all social media platforms. If someone helps you and you never help them then don’t be surprised if they stop talking to you.
- The more friends you have, the harder it is to get work done and interact with all of them. So you’re bound to break #1 a few times.
- People will write what they want to write and not every blog is the same.
- Respect is easily lost on here.
- People can quickly tell when you’re hiding something.
- Writing about being upset or depressed seems to bring in more people, but it also drives many away. At least this is what I found on Facebook and I got that vibe a few times on WordPress.
- Even if it’s just an emoticon or a simple congrats, it feels good to give and receive positive energy for ones successes. This can be stronger than many other comment types like when people respond to your success by saying why it isn’t really a success or how they did better.
- No following is too small because we’ve all been at that ‘only 1 follower’ point. So never think you’re not big enough to interact with other blogs or help out with events.
So, what have you learned about people on WordPress?
Legends of Windemere 
That pretty much sums it up, Charles. You do eventually get a feel for which people you really would end up talking all night with and who you’d gladly meet for coffee though.
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It’s funny. People, myself included, bash social media a lot for the fake relationships it makes. Yet there are venues that create actual connections. I think blogging is definitely one of the stronger ones.
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There is a lot of illusion in the online world of relationships, it is true, but I have made some very real friends online… ones who have survived the transition to ‘real life’ and become people I cherish in my life. You do get a feel for that. And I agree, the blogging world, particularly the WP community, has something many other social networks seems to lack.
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Same here. Even some that I’ve only chatted with over the computer would be listed as real friends. It’s about the connection and not the distance.
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Absolutely Charles. And you just sort of ‘know’.
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I like this community and the people in it.
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Me too. 🙂
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You’ve made some great points there Charles. I will bear them in mind. 🙂
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Good to hear. Enjoy the new year.
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
Charles Yallowitz asking for what you have learned about people on WordPress… It has reinforced for me that country, language, culture and religion are not relevant when courtesy is mutually respected. How about you?
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You’ve covered it well. Very well, indeed. Happy New Year. 🙂
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Happy New Year to you too. Hope you have a great 2015.
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Insightful post. I have always wondered about the ebbs and flows of relationships on WP. Some get bored and others want more hand holding than I can afford to give.(so they stop visiting me) I agree on the angst based blogs. They seem to have a lot more followers than the unemotional ones. I have been tempted to spill my guts on events occurring in my life but have resisted. I have to say there is no shortcut to building followers and I would wish any following me are doing so to get a laugh or a quick thought. Not being a powerhouse in WP, I can only write each blog as it comes. I of course, have enjoyed your blogs and will miss them. (I guess you know that. If not here it is)
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The hand holding is definitely a tough one to work with. Good mentality on writing each blog as it comes though because that seems more relaxing than being insane about it . . . like moi. My blog posts will still be around. A tough thing is that I’ve covered so much ground that I’m having trouble thinking of post topics. At least in regards to the aspects of writing.
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Your formula of asking readers their opinion on different aspects of story is a winner.
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It does work when people answer. I tend to get mostly silence until a certain Thriller author saves me from doing a silly dance for attention on Youtube. 😛
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It’s called the ole soft shoe 🙂
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Why does that make me think of dancing?
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It keeps everyone happy till the next act is ready (or you’ve flubbed your lines)
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I do tend to flub my pines a lot.
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I agree with John. A very insightful post. Hope Year 3 is even more constructive.
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I hope so too. Thanks.
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Great insights, Charles. I, for one, get lost on here sometimes trying to keep up. It seems that many come and go, but it is always nice to see a familiar face. You were my most frequent commentator and I know you are a very busy man, so I just want to say thank you for your support. Happiest New Year to you and yours. I, too, hope it is a productive year for you.
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You’re welcome. Hope you have a great and productive year too. Will we see another book release from you? 😀
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I dunno. I have the one about done with edits and ready to go, but the other is just getting rolling. I don’t want the one out there until a couple more are waiting in the wings. Sometimes, it all just seems so far away.
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Understandable. That’s kind of what I did. I had 3 done before the first was even out the door. Creates a good cushion.
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I may give in and go ahead, but I’m thinking best not to.
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Maybe release it when the other is in the final editing stage?
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I’m still debating. I have two books that are different genre and I want two in crime fiction/adventure
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Is the first crime one the one that is nearly done?
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Yep. It’s edited and good to go except no cover yet.
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Cover is always the final piece.
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Great post. I find that I’ve run out of time. I only have critical mass to do a finite amount of social networking each day. I’d love to be more active but once my list of blogs to follow hit 100 I found that I couldn’t physically read all the posts I wanted to or keep up with the folks I wanted to keep up with. I now dip in. I try to read all posts by all my favourites but my reader’s a bit iffy and I keep missing people. I’d managed to unsubscribe myself from this blog which is why I was sitting there thinking, “hmm… Yallowitz hasn’t blogged anything in a long time” phnark.
It makes me feel incredibly bad that I can’t actually give something back to everyone who gives time and effort to me. So I’ve decided to give up trying and cease to worry any more. I love writing my blog so I’ll carry on and I’ll read the folks I read but I reckon blogwise, I may have hit the end of the road in terms of expansion because I don’t have time to be personal the way I want to.
One of my New Year’s resolutions, that one. 😉
Cheers
MTM
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It really does hit a point where you can’t follow everyone without using up your entire day. I had to limit it earlier in the year when I was falling behind in writing. I try to reblog as much as I can, but sifting through the reader got ridiculous. Maybe all we can do is make interesting posts for those that follow us.
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Yeh, or hold conversations in the comments like this. 🙂 those are always good in my view as it’s the dialogue I wnjoy. Like you said, it all feels a bit quiet otherwise.
Cheers
MTM
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The chats are the best part. Really makes the associated post seem worthwhile.
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I agree, I’m always really chuffed when people comment on my blog, or comment on my comments.
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I must admit that I had to look ‘chuffed’ up.
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You wait, I’ll start the Scottish slang on you soon!
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The New Year’s resolution is to relax about it, I mean.
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I like your lessons better than any I could offer. Keep up the good work!
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Thanks. Hope you studied because there’ll be an open book, totally optional, make it up yourself test at the end of the week. 😉
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Great advice. It is hard to keep up, and I always appreciate it when people take the time to comment. Happy New Year!
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Happy New Year to you too. The comments definitely make me smile.
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Another valuable post, Charles.
Great insights and useful advice.
Blogging is a commitment because being a good blogger is not about the numbers, but about reciprocity, as you noted — which helps build cherished blogger friendships.
Happy new year to you.
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Happy new year to you too.
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Congrats on reaching the two-year mark with your blog. Your blog is one of the ones I turned to when I first began blogging. I know what you mean. My readership has gone up and down. And I agree that some topics are more engaging to readers than others.
My weekly deadlines caused me to slow down on posting and blog reading. I’m easily overwhelmed, so for a while there, I considered putting the plug on my blog, especially when my readership dropped. But then I realized that I quit because I thought people stopped liking my blog, would I also give up on my books if only a few people bought them? Shouldn’t I keep producing posts as long as I enjoyed doing it? So, I made the decision to continue my blog.
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I’ve been there when I feel like my writing is falling behind. Kind of there now. I think blogging requires a presence, so it’s hard to find that balance. Most people go too far or too short, but they stay there for comfort.
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Very insightful post, Charles, and I agree with all you’ve said. I feel like I’ve made some good long-lasting friendships through blogging … definitely more so than I would have done through any other social media.
I try to follow the etiquette of treating others as I would want to be treated so, yes, if I host a blog tour for someone, hopefully that blogger will host one for me someday. But I also know how hard it can be to read/like/comment on every post of every blogger one follows, so when some people fall off the radar on my blog, I don’t take it personally. We’re all busy, we’re all being pulled in 20 directions. Of course, that’s one of the benefits of blogging: finding people like myself who are struggling, albeit in different ways, to be a writer in the midst of chaos and other demands 😉
That said, my etiquette has also bit me in the butt when my “niceness” is interpreted by some as an invitation to make demands (the “hand holding” stuff). As you note, we don’t have any of the social cues like tone of voice to guide us when we interact with others.
As for the emotionally driven posts: I do try to keep those to a minimum and, aside from one time when I was miffed at WP, those emotional posts I do write are never off-the-cuff. They are still reviewed and edited. I still try to make sure I’m not crossing that fuzzy line between manipulation and sincerity. I even felt hesitant when I posted about the death of my cat Luisa, but the responses were a balm to my heartache.
I can’t really speak to other emotionally driven posts. I don’t know how to react to them and they actually scare me since I might not see the posts until hours after they’ve appeared … and then what? Is that moment of anguish still there, or has the blogger gotten over it and gone for coffee? With bloggers I’ve been following for a while, it might not be too hard to understand what she/he might be needing at that moment. But when it’s someone I just started to follow, well, it kind of freaks me out. I may have a master’s in social work, but that doesn’t mean I’m any good at it 😉
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Excellent points especially about timing. I don’t think everyone pays attention to the timing of posts on social media. I still see a tweet about my 5th book being releases getting passed around.
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I am at the beginning of my career. Actually I am at “1” like, lol. So thank you for all of the pointers.
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You’re welcome and good luck. We’ve all been there. 🙂
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I think your items are pretty universal. Unfortunately the feeling of anonymity does bring out the worst in some people which I have seen here on WordPress more times than I would like to admit. Fortunately these episodes have not dissuaded me from continuing to post here, I really do love the sense of community and will continue to take part in it for as long as it lasts.
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Good point. You’re going to find people like that everywhere. Best not to let it get to us.
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On social media those type of people are almost impossible to avoid so I guess the best we can do is to not get involved with them if at all possible.
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Smart plan. I try my best, but sometimes you just stumble into the situation. Then you go quiet and slink away.
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Interesting post, Charles. I find WordPress to be a wonderful place to congregate. I love the people, the topics and the ideas that float around this amazing world called blogging. I think the best part about WordPress, which, I might add, is more than I can say for other blogging platforms, is the community. We’re all in this awesome echo system and we’re all in the same boat of garnering ideas and learning from each other. I find it equally incredible to know there’s a freshly pressed section I can go to when I’m bored to read what others have to say about current events and such. I don’t know, I just find the whole atmosphere here at WordPress much different than, say, Blogspot where I’d had another blog a few years ago. It’s definitely more positive. Then again, I do steer away from the negative areas of the platform, so maybe I’m biased that way.
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I never looked into Blogspot, so I thought that ran the same way. Is there really that much of a difference?
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BIG DIFFERENCE. More cliquish. Incredibly saturated with writers talking about their insecurities as opposed to WordPress where writers, in my opinion, are writing not only about writing but about other topics, too. It’s like walking from the darkness into the light. So different.
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Weird. Guess I’m lucky I chose WordPress first.
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Interesting insights
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Thanks. Been an enlightening two years in terms of the rollercoaster of social media.
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I get frustrated with bliggers who never follow back even after months of comments and likes. A one way relationship is not a relationship.
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I’ve actually tried to keep my follows to those who interact with me. I followed so many people that weren’t reciprocating that I was getting fed up with the overall experience.
By the way, you use the WordPress app, right? Have you had a problem getting it to work with autocorrect?
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Yes. It is driving me crazy. It is taking forever to go back and correct dverything.
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I’ve been trying my best to avoid using it, but the Christmas Break for the munchkin hasn’t given me much choice. Hope they fix it.
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Its almost all i use
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Is there a program you can type the posts up in and transfer them?
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“6.Writing about being upset or depressed seems to bring in more people, but it also drives many away.” As you note, people are so social and we rush over to see what the drama is. But for some people they may feel upset because they want to help but can’t do much over a distance. You encounter the same for returning combat veterans who feel the public doesn’t understand what they experienced, and people who have loved ones going through cancer.
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Never thought of that option. I typically ran into the ‘no time for weak whiners’ responses.
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Reblogged this on theowlladyblog.
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Exchanging positivity is one of WordPress’s strengths. 🙂
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Definitely. Seems to be more common here than other social media platforms.
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