One thing that has always been great about the little guy is that he rarely throws a public temper tantrum. In fact, I think 99% of his outbursts have been with mommy who he knows is more of a pushover than daddy. Then again, I do tend to indulge him to some extent in order to avoid the tantrum. Anyway, he’s very friendly and polite when we’re out for lunch or running some errands. I thought I had a specific story with him on this topic, but it’s really another batch of quotes:
“I’m helping my daddy! He can’t do this without me.” (Conversing with an elderly woman at supermarket.)
“I’m going to get it.” (Grabbing things off the shelf if I stop for something.)
“Why do I have this? I don’t eat this.” (Forcing me to go back and return what he randomly took off the shelf.)
“Good boys say Thank You. I’m a bad boy, so I don’t say Thank You . . . Thank You for helping us.” (Claiming he’s a bad boy to a cashier.)
“Should I help the man with the food?” (A little confused on his role in a restaurant.)
“Wait! I have to say good-bye to the frozen yogurt man.” (Self-explanatory.)
“I’m sorry for *insert reason*” (Said after every argument, tantrum, and incident.)
You know, I really did think I had a story here, but he does this a lot without prompting. We still tend to prompt him immediately out of habit, so it’s actually the adults that have to learn to give him time to react. It does get funny when he’s around another child who has poor manners or is throwing a tantrum. He gets confused and starts loudly asking us why the other kid is being bad or sad.
One time he even tried to explain to a little girl that she should be saying sorry for bumping another kid off a slide. She didn’t really pay attention, which led to him complaining to me (and the girl’s mom who happened to be standing next to me) that the little girl was rude. From the scowl of the parent who was watching her daughter knock another kid off the slide, I don’t think she appreciated the 4-year-old’s commentary. He opted to avoid the girl after that and play ‘extra well’ with the other kids. Guess there was a story in there.
Legends of Windemere 
This actually is a great story, you are raising a very polite young man which you should be proud of. I’m sure what you are teaching him will stay with him for a lifetime. Good job my friend. 🙂
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I hope so. He’s still at the age where reminders are needed or he thinks it’s funny to be rude.
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All part of the learning process, in time it will become natural to him.
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We raised a daughter in San Francisco. In SF children are, usually, allowed to do almost anything. I never saw a parent correct a disobedient child in public. I can’t tell you how many times my daughter would come to me with tears about rude behavior. My comment was “it’s okay darling that child has been raised by wolves.” I half believed what I said looking at the parents.
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I think children are inherently good. They pick up naughtiness from other kids mostly. That’s what I have seen with my own kids and grandkids. maybe that’s why our grandparents claimed to live in a kinder, gentler world. There was less exposure to trouble.
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Maybe. Personally, I think every person is a blank slate and neutral until their environment starts altering them. I would actually place more on the adults around them than other children. My son tends to imitate adults more than kids, so that’s where I’m coming from.
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Definitely parental influence. Some parents behave worse than their kids. poor Junior doesn’t stand a chance.
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It’s always odd to see parents throwing a tantrum.
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I had a wicked step-mother (my dad divorced her, but she was a large part of why we went into foster care). She would take us into K-Mart and have us go into the dressing room and put on shorts, shirts, and swimwear under our winter clothes. Shop-lifting. Seriously. She demanded it and would without food or beat us if we refused to cooperate. I was ten years old and even then i knew it was wrong. People are effing effed up.
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That’s rather disturbing. Especially withholding food and beating you if you didn’t break the law. I always wonder where people like that come from.
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Here’s the really weird part about this woman: We were not poor. We lived in an upscale neighborhood, my father and step-mother drove nice cars. He gave her money for nails and hair and clothes. She did not work. But she insisted on shoplifting. If she could get it for free she would. Then I shoplifted a barbie doll. She made me take it back into the store just to humiliate me. I told the manager how she got our clothes. Really, I did. Then my step-sister was arrested for shoplifting. My dad wanted to leave her in detention and my step-mother had a fit. What mixed messages for kids to have to grow up with.
With parenting, being a consistant disciplinarian doesn’t mean you have to beat your kids, but your own behavior speaks volumes.
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Sounds like a manipulative kleptomaniac. Definitely sounds like she played favorites too.
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You have a nice , young man there.
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Thanks. I’ll let him know when he gets home. As long as he behaves.
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What an adorable boy he is. I am having huge trouble with mine, because of my faults. He is so goddamn cute its often hard to tell him no, especially since he behaves. I mean, people ask me all the times why is he always allowed to eat candy? Because he eats everything else too. When I was 3 my mom would beat me cause I would not go near a carrot. My little guy devours them, all the fruit I offer and etc, so how can I say no when he asks for candy? Anyways, whenever we are in pulic, he uses his cuteness to the maximum. I look away for a minute to take out cash to pay or similar, and next thing you know there is a girl next to him feeding him a cupcake. And this always happens to me.
I am very happy to hear your little one is so polite, considerate AND that he avoids being surrounded with rude and negative kids. I do think it is the best way those kids will learn how to be more friendly and polite, seeing their parents did not teach them already.
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Kid has skills. Mine does that too, but he doesn’t touch food from strangers. He knows he has a nut allergy, so he’s cautious. A picky eater too. Not big on veggies, but he likes some fruit.
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I like the bad boy remarks. It reminds me of a brief period where my daughter insisted that she was a bad girl. 🙂
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It’s adorable when they do that and don’t really know what they mean.
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“Why do I have this? I don’t eat this.” 🙂
“You are going to eat this when I get through with you.” Said the other parent! LOL
I couldn’t help myself. That quote is such a great prompt! 😉
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At least he realizes it before he makes me buy it. 🙂
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I think it’s sweet that he thanks the cashier. Not a thing wrong with manners 🙂 and OMG ‘why do I have this? I don’t eat this.” very cute, Charles. Is the photo of him playing with some sort of bubble something?
Ellespeth
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It’s a gun that shoots bubbles. It broke soon after and I think it was the second one he got. Another kid broke the first and this one simply died. They’re cheap toys and you can tell.
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You should be very proud of the boy you’re raising! Sounds like a great kid to have around, rather than some of the ones who have an over abundance of self-importance!
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Oh he still has that. The lone kid in a house with 4 adults. He gets spoiled.
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Thanks Charles for sharing your wonderful son with us. You most certainly have a great story here .. what a love “little guy” is! I think it comes with living with 4 adults actually .. a kid has to set a good example after all! 😉
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Maybe. The 4 adults thing has its downsides. Everyone has their own parenting method, so he gets confused a lot and aims for his favorites.
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That can be hard for a kid i think. But he’s also lucky … that’s how it was in the past btw with the extended family children had lots of ways to look at the world and could pick and choose, in the end, there’s no “right way” but many faceted ways to live your life. So that doesn’t seem so bad to me, a little hard on the parents maybe.
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A lot of people have said the same thing. I will admit that it’s a lot harder with the 4 styles and everyone thinking they know best. He’s used that chaos against us a few times. This is probably stemming more from me wishing I could get a break from the crowd every now and again. It’s irritating to be trying to work with him and have several other people shouting ideas or stepping into the fray.
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I really can see you’re point of view … it’s hard on you … but, and there’s a big one … when he grows up there will not be the single omniscient authority … but lots of people pulling in different directions etc. good he should have the practice now.
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Hopefully he uses such a thing for good and not mischief like he does these days. 🙂
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I’m sure he will use the lessons wisely 😉
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