The Customer Is Always Right & Often Evil

There was a store sign that said the following:

  1. The customer is always right.
  2. If the customer is wrong, see rule #1.

I think this sets a dangerously vague precedence because it means a customer could feasibly get away with anything.  For example:

  1. They can demand the first born child of the cashier.  They’re right even if they’re wrong, so you have to give the kid up.
  2. They can urinate on the produce without getting in trouble.  This is disgusting and vile, but the customer is right even if they’re wrong.
  3. Tap dancing on the deli counter is bizarre, but you’re still a customer who is always right.
  4. Using a blowtorch to melt items in the frozen food section?  You’re covered by Rule #2.

I could keep going, but I’m having trouble not going into sick and disturbing waters.  The point is that I think the rules should be this:

  1. The customer is always right.
  2. If the customer is wrong and polite, see Rule #1.
  3. If the customer is wrong and psychotically rude, call your manager and have him/her toss the jerk out of the store.  The bigger the security guard, the better.

Now back to trying to stay awake for the rest of the day.  Might need coffee.

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About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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24 Responses to The Customer Is Always Right & Often Evil

  1. RbH's avatar RbH says:

    Haha!! Love it!

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  2. As a former retail manager, I love your new rules. And actually, those are the rules typically adhered to.

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  3. nice to see some common sense in the world. there are definitely situations where a customer is clearly WRONG.

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    • And those are just the extreme cases. I’ve had customers say ‘the customer is always right’ when they’re demanding a discount for no reason or cursing at me for something beyond my control. I never had a response, but a co-worker once clocked out, claimed to be in ‘customer mode’, and started yelling back at the rude customer. Every time the person tried to argue, he screamed ‘customer is always right!’ That guy got so many standing ovations for his store antics.

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      • that is the best story i might have ever heard.

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      • The store I worked at is full of stories. From one co-worker (older woman who I swear is part pitbull) chasing down a shoplifter to me ‘fixing’ a leak in the ceiling with a trash bag slide into a bucket to just random yelling. Maybe I should post a few of those stories. At least the ones I’m involved in.

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      • Dude, that is total short story material. I wrote a short story once about the grocery store I used to work in. and I didn’t have half the fodder you do.

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      • I’ve been wondering if there’s a way to write a book where I use these stories. Putting it in Windemere would put a magical twist to some of the stories and make it stand out. It was a video store, so I’m not sure where to go with it.

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  4. renxkyoko's avatar renxkyoko says:

    Ah, it also says, in big, bold letters, that the store has the right to deny service to unruly customers.

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  5. Too funny! I laughed so hard when I read this! 🙂

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  6. Kelly Hibbert's avatar keladelaide says:

    You should try pizza delivery for new material. This was one of my former professional endeavors. 🙂

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  7. Papi Z's avatar Papizilla says:

    We should gather our stories Charles and put out a book. “How Customers Are Evil And Should Be Destroyed” by Charles and Papi Z. I have actually been writing up some stories to put into a Retail Memories book. 😉

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