Phil– “I have a question.”

Eric– “We’re about to start the plan and now you have a question?”

Phil– “It’s a simple one about timing.”

Eric– “Fine.”

Phil– “Why are we doing this the day after Christmas instead of right before or on?”

Eric– “Because the guards were partying last night, so their . . . guard is down.”

Phil– “Got it.  I’ll start sawing through the bars.”

Eric– “Now, that was Plan C.  We aren’t using that one any more.”

Phil– “When did we have multiple plans?”

Eric– “Since Louie kept changing his mind.”

Phil– “Who’s Louie? There are only two of us breaking out.”

Eric– “He’s our outside contact.”

Phil– “You mean the guy who is going to push the laundry cart we’re hiding in?”

Eric– “That was Plan L and that guy’s name was Ralph.  Ralph got put in solitary for a fight.”

Phil– “So, what is the plan?”

Eric– “We’re going to sneak out of our cell at dawn.”

Phil– “Not at night when it’s dark?”

Eric– “No because the guards will have gotten over their hangovers by then.”

Phil– “You’re really depending on everyone who works here being heavy drinkers.  I would think those working today would be more careful.”

Eric– “Amelia says those who come after Christmas are always tired, hungover, or terrible at their jobs.”

Phil– “Who’s . . . Never mind.  So, we sneak out and don’t cut any bars or hide in any laundry.  Is this the sewer plan?  I didn’t like that one.”

Eric– “That was Plan S and we flushed it.”

Phil– “I’m going back to bed.”

Eric– “But you wanted to escape.”

Phil– “I’m rethinking my choice in breakout partners. Unless you give me a good reason to stay with you, I’m out.”

Eric– “I’ve already got us tickets to the Bahamas and a car filled with money from my last heist hidden in the forest across the road.”

Phil– “Fine.  I’m back in for now.  What do we do after we sneak out of our cell?”

Eric– “We keep sneaking, but doing it without looking suspicious.  Don’t whistle or put your hands in your pockets.  Just casual walk towards the exit.  Once we’re close enough, we start a riot.  Now, Luther and Maurice are going to be there to shank us, but not in a lethal way.  As the guards come rushing in, we’ll sneak through the door and make a run for the exit.  If anyone sees us, we can drop and show we’re injured then escape later from the infirmary.  I call it Plan K for Chaos.”

Phil– “What if nobody notices us leaving while we run out?”

Eric– “Then we get in the car and drive away.”

Phil– “What about the whole bleeding issue?”

Eric– “I have band-aids in the glove compartment.”

Phil– “I’m out again.”

Eric– “Aw, man. We never do what I want to do.”