Let’s just get right to it. I’ve been talking about a ‘life event’ since August, but it really started happening at the beginning of December. August was when I learned that this might be coming and tried to fix things. Had no idea it was all in vain and 2019 would be a year for me trying to glue myself back together. Anyway, this is the most amount of detail I’m going to go into about this because going too far will cause trouble. Probably going to get in trouble for this, but too many people here have made wrong guesses about the ‘life event’ and it’s gotten awkward. Here we go:
My focus since then has been on my son and my Teaching Assistant job. The latter helps to be a distraction because I’m busy and it’s fun. People know what I’m going through, so I sometimes get asked how I’m doing. Nice to be asked that and know people care, especially this week when things happened. The harder part is helping my son through this. He’s still confused on everything and his special needs makes the bouncing back and forth a challenge. Still, he’s been a trooper and worked with us. Though, he has his moments and those tear at my heart like Wolverine on a massive rampage. I try my best to explain things, but I don’t want to drag him into the middle of the whole thing. Both me and him have shed plenty of tears together over this, which is why I’m happy to get this long weekend with him.
I’ve been trying to add writing to my schedule, but it’s hard to get into the mindset when you’re in pain. Doesn’t help that part of War of Nytefall: Eradication involves a newly minted couple that were based around my ex-wife and I. Can’t do anything to change that too because the relationship is integral to the overall story. Probably why this book is taking me 6 months instead of the usual 6 weeks. By the time I get home from work, I’m tired because I go right into either wrangling my son or getting into conversations about stuff. This is why I’ve put more time into jigsaw puzzles than writing because it’s a different brain half.
So, how am I doing? I’ve been angry, depressed, sad, hopeful, lonely, heartbreak, and several other emotions. The fact that I’ve kept it together most days is amazing, but I have to thank all of my friends and family for that. Situations like this show you who you can trust and who really cares. Not sure what else to say though. I’m starting to cry because it still hurts even though it’s been months. I have moments where I start thinking about how I’ll die alone or how I feel lost. There’s more, but I can’t go into that part because it would definitely get me in trouble.
I want to talk about victories of the week, but the divorce overshadows all. I mean, all I really did was finishing watching ‘The Punisher’ Season 1 and reading ‘Naruto’. This coming week might be a little better and next weekend is me on my own. Sort of because a friend might come out for a ‘John Wick-end’ (He said it first!) and another friend is at a convention that I’ll pop into. I hope to get a chapter done by the end of it all. My goal is to finish the book before summer camp starts at the end of June. It’s feasible since I only have 5 chapters to go. I might be able to write a bit this weekend after the kid goes to sleep too. Depends a lot on my mood.
No idea what else to say. I don’t have it in me to make any actual goals. So, I’m just going to do a general list:
Well, there it is. The life event has been revealed. I’ll be busy tomorrow, but today and Monday are low-key fun days with the munchkin. Happy weekend.