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First, an apology for changing topics after I promised someone this week would be about outlining. I moved that to mid-March because I’ve had a lot on my mind. This probably breaks my ‘no personal’ stuff, but I really need to vent on a few things.
Is the world becoming more negative? I see it every day. People put incredible amounts of energy to tear down something they dislike or disagree with. You hate my favorite TV show? Then war has been declared. We see a topic from a different view? I should punch you in the face. This celebrity said something I don’t like? I hope they die in a plane crash with these other people I don’t like. Is this what the world has always been like or is it steadily going in this direction?
I’m not even talking about a single area. This came to me when I saw that people were drawn more to subjects that they could vent about. Forget paling around and having fun since people, myself included, tend to simply want to explode. Note that I included myself there. I don’t even realize when I do it, but I’m going to try to stop myself. It’s a waste of energy that could be better spent on creating something of joy and supporting things that make me happy. This isn’t to say I won’t vent, but that shouldn’t be a person’s most popular form of communication.
Is it the Internet? I know this makes me sound like an old fart (apologies to old farts out there. I’m sure you’re lovely people.), but it does seem to hold a power over us. We can say whatever we want, whenever we want, and there are very few consequences. That person you’re calling a worthless piece of shit? You can’t see them cry and there’s no risk of them punching you in the face over Facebook. Most of us are a lot more careful with our words and opinions when such consequences can occur. Yet we can rant and rave online then wander off without a second thought of our effect. This isn’t the entire issue, but I do think human beings are finding this ‘loophole’ in behavior to unleash their stress and negativity into the air. Whatever happened to going out with friends and talking about your worries over pizza? Even a phone call could work if people even remember that their iPhone has such a capability. After all, there’s a lot of context and verbal cues that you don’t get when typing and that might be a reason for a lot of the negativity.
To avoid defeating my purpose by being negative, I’m going to try to end this on a positive note. I guess this is called an affirmation. My goal is to be positive and not blindly rant about everything. I wish to find middle ground and understanding with those that disagree with me instead of making enemies. I don’t want to contribute to an atmosphere that is starting to make me physically ill. Hopefully this will make me happy and make those around me happy, which in turn will make those around them happy.
Life’s too short to waste it be negative. Also, if we become ghosts then being negative would turn us into angry spirits and that’s not good . . . Yes, I have ‘Supernatural’ on the television. Why?
Legends of Windemere 
Love that picture! One of my parrots uses her foot to discipline the weavers when they get too in her face. I try not to be nasty, but I have had times when something has got the best of me, and I’ve said things I later regret. There are more than enough odd people out there who seem to thrive on negativity and conflict and I really don’t want to be one of them – but I have once or twice. We’re only human though, and unless we consistently attack or hurt people I reckon that the amount of time that we “live” online probably means that now and then something’s probably going to get up a nostril along the way, and trigger a maybe not too well thought out response. For me, when my temper goes I have a problem – luckily that only happens once in a blue moon, and I honestly do try really hard to control it. It’s best to walk away and not look at those things that get up our nostrils.
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I get moody and rant-y a lot. Interesting how you say ‘we’re only human’. I’ve said it too, but now I wonder what that means. Are we inherently negative and combative as a species?
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I think it means that sometimes we have to be kind to ourselves. Forgive ourselves. I don’t think that we’re inherently negative. I think that most life journeys bring pain – sometimes severe pain – and we react to it in different ways. Ranting is ok now and then. Human definitely. There is a lot of evil out there – human evil, but I reckon that most people are good or at least trying their best to be as good as they can. I get really sad when I see too much bad in a day – and that sometimes brings on a crazy rant (regrets much), but the fact that we rant means that we care maybe. The negative/evil people out there are real – they really are beyond my understanding, and sometimes they get to crush all the good out of things. You’re one of the good guys though, and I look up to you not only for your experience and awesome authorness, but also for the fact that you’re so obviously a truly nice man.
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Thanks for the compliments. Very wise thought that ranting proves we care. I do know people who despise the act of ranting and see it as a sign of emotional immaturity. I think with the higher level of negativity, ‘The Rant’ has been seen as nothing more than a cry for attention. So a person who rants a lot because they are routinely upset will go unheard, which can lead to other problems.
Perhaps a big reason for so much negativity is a lack of compassion in our modern world. I don’t see it that often outside of friend/family circles. People seem very quick to assume a stranger got what they deserved or that it isn’t a problem worth listening too.
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I agree but it can be very difficult when the media mantra is ‘ bad news sells papers’ and ‘ atrocities and evil sell even more’. In the UK we have the expression… ‘too big for their boots’ and that usually proceeds taking them down a peg or too..Being delighted for someone else’s success seems not to be in certain people’s nature.. and yes, I am guilty of giving certain people a piece of my mind… sometimes……
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I definitely agree about the media. There’s the phrase ‘if it bleeds, it leads’. Yet I wonder if that’s a major source of the higher level of negativity. It’s possible that they’re just bringing more attention to it. Hard to tell with this since they could even be feeding each other.
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I love to hang out with positive people. 🙂 You’re right, Charles, life is too short to waste being negative. Walk on the sunny side of the street…positive anything is better than negative nothing… there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel….being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult… gratitude, even for the smallest things (butter on your toast) opens a heart…let the sunshine in…
Writing this response to your post picked me up…Thanks. 🙂
Have a happy day. 🙂
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Happy to give you an emotional boost. Thanks for the positive statements. 🙂
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It does seem like negativity has become much more prevalent in the past several years, and I think your assessment of the internet contributing to this is spot-on. (And I’m 34. HA.) BUT I also think that there are just a lot of negative people out there, people who aren’t happy unless they’re spreading their misery around. I think the internet just makes it easier for them to spread it around.
Thanks for ending on a positive note ;-). We should start a positivity campaign! Happy Monday :-).
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Misery doesn’t just love company, it tries to kidnap it. A positivity campaign certainly sounds like fun. Wonder how we would put such a thing together.
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I shall ponder this.
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I’m definitely guilty of venting, of being negative, but I try to keep it from getting personal. All you need is one out-of-context negative comment to go viral and you’ll wish you never opened that FB or Twitter account. As you note, part of the problem is anonymity and the ability to just walk away without knowing what damaged you’ve done … at least, until it’s too late to take it back. I try to be mindful and often times I’ll discard a negative comment for the sake of being civil and remembering that Life is too short. I’ve never regretted discarding a comment while I have regretted posting some. Thanks for posting this, Charles.
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You’re welcome.
I’ve definitely kept my mouth shut or avoided posts where I think the topic is too tense. There’s a lot of areas that you just know a fight will break out the moment somebody disagrees with the majority. Those are the incidents that really come off as crazy.
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You speak the words people need to hear….and act on. Let’s be positive! pssst pass it on . . .
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Hope people do pass it on. Interesting responses too. Seems we all have moments of being negative, so maybe it’s more about finding more positivity instead of only that.
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Reblogged this on Jo Robinson.
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Thanks for the positive reblog. 😉
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It’s a really cogent subject that you’ve brought up – pleasure Charles. 🙂
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Yup. I posted my new short story today on social media and here’s a reply on G+: ” I can request that I am not interested In story…” –Okay then just pass along to another post, am I right?!! On a POSITIVE note, I’ll end with a smile 🙂
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Odd how people claim to not be interested in something, but they take the time to announce such a thing. Whatever happened to going ‘eh’ and moving on with your life. Some people would be surprised how much free time that opens up.
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People have forgotten, I think, to be thankful for what they have. Religion has been tossed away and with it the need to say thanks for what we have in our life. The spiritual void has been filled with materialism, negativity, and the need to be better than one’s neighbour.
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I agree with people forgetting to be thankful for what they have. Though I do know many non-religious people who are both spiritual and positive. That being said, religion definitely can help guide a person to being better. That’s another arena that seems to attract negativity. Seems what a person believes is grounds for a fight even if that person isn’t trying to push an agenda.
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I never paid much attention to the comments at the bottom of some pages of articles published on Facebook until recently. Now that I’ve noticed, I’m appalled at what people will say. A teen battling cancer gets comments like: “She wouldn’t even be pretty if she had hair.” A musical children’s group on You Tube gets a comment like, “That little girl’s voice sucks. The drummer is awesome, but that girl sounds like she’s got a hairball.” Not just negative, but cruel. I stopped reading them about as soon as I started. If all people would stop a second and post a positive, there’s always a positive, what a wonderful world it would be.
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Cruel is the perfect word. The strange thing is that there’s no gain from doing such a thing. If these people hurt the target’s feelings, cause a depression, or get them to quit a dream then what do they gain? It’s rather baffling.
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I think moving beyond venting and anger is the best place to be in for everyone. I think sometimes a little steam blow is in order, but there are people out there who have on hair shirts constantly. I simply stop following them and am at peace in my ignorance. As an old fart, I do not take offense to your comment. Old fart is as old fart does.
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I’ll be joining you in that category soon enough. 😉
I’ve begun ignoring those that post such things too. One can’t stop a person from being negative, but one doesn’t have to be a spectator much less join in.
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Some depress the hell out of me.
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Same here. The oddest is when someone promotes a book by tearing another down. Never sure of the goal is sales or attacks.
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I see the same things. I believe if we all join together and stop the negativity it will catch on and become normal again. ❤
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Fingers crossed. Might take a few years, but let’s hope it swings the other way. 🙂
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You just put your best foot forward and we will all join in too! ❤
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Thanks. Though now I’m not so sure what to do. I’ve noticed that it’s always easier to say that one will be positive, but it’s an epic challenge to remain that way. It’s like the world is always trying to puncture our bright balloons of happiness.
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You need to visit my blog more often so I can sprinkle some happiness your way 😀
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I’ll do that. 🙂
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Thanks Charles. You will find great inspiration and good vibes here. 🙂
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I’m not sure venting is such a bad thing provided it isn’t made personal. There are some nasty people out there who don’t care what they say. There’s no reason at all not to disagree with them and make your own points strongly without resorting to name calling and vile threats. Bad language seems to be a norm these days but I reckon more points can be scored without swearing than with.
I see someone blames the loss of religion for this and the inability to say thanks anymore.I’m one of the old farts and haven’t been religious most of my life but it hasn’t stopped me being thankful nor from using my manners for what I get. Sometimes I think religion is at fault as we separate children of different religions in school for different lessons. Why not just teach them all the same thing at the same time, respect for others, care of others, love towards others?
Don’t stop disagreeing with the nasties, just don’t let them win by needling you.Shut them up with your superior use of language instead.And outside the net as well, make it illegal for people like the Westboro Church to spread hate, on Facebook make sure no pages beginning kill or hate are allowed . Take away the voice of hate.
Sorry for my rant Charles.
Hugs
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Never heard of the separating of children by religion. I was taught all of the beliefs around me even if it was just a glancing thing. I think religion might be part of it, but not as clear cut as people think. Some people use it to be positive and good. Others use it to hate and be nasty. It’s the tool that people use an excuse or, in some cases, a weapon to push their agenda. From what I’ve experienced, most religions boil down to treating others nice and the nastier stuff comes in when people try to use the belief system to promote their own biases. So I have a hard to time thinking religion is at the core of the negativity. Maybe another casualty of human weakness?
I totally disagree with what organizations like Westboro Church try to push. Yet, I think making it illegal would be dangerous. Once you take a group’s right of free speech away, you set a standard for others to do it to groups they simply disagree with. Personally, I think we misunderstand the freedom of speech. For some reason people think it means you can say what you want without repercussions. Yet it really means you can speak your mind. The response to your words is what you bring down on your head. Again, it’s a tough area to consider because the taking away or restriction of a right always has the chance of backfiring.
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I’m all for the freedom of speech Charles but people like the Westboro Church abuse that right and cause much distress at funerals etc. If it were illegal to create a public order offence then they could have their opinions and voice them in their own church etc without offending people outside.The fact that they can get away with what they do based on Freedom of speech rights is an offence to most right thinking people.
Hugs
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That might fall into freedom of assembly too. It would probably have to be something specific toward that group though. Not really sure how it could be done without effecting everyone else.
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Every little effort to make the world ever so slightly more positive is worth doing. 🙂
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Imagine if everyone tried be even slightly more positive. 🙂
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Almost as good as everyone giving you a penny. 🙂
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Such an eye opening post here, Charles. Thanks for sharing it with us. We should all try to be more positive and helpful to all who surround us and maybe a little bit less judgemental. Keep the good thoughts. Hugs and smiles to all…
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Hugs and smiles.
Judgmental . . . I forgot about that and now I think it’s a big part of the environment. People seem to love judging others and announcing their opinion as pure fact. Seems to happen in many online fights at least.
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I think being negative is an easy response to things, rather than looking at situations and trying to find a way to improve on them.
It does make it harder though now, when talking to people, you’re constantly on guard wondering if one small thing you say could start someone off on a rant! 😀
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Heightened sense of paranoia. Definitely feel that at times. Does seem being negative is the easiest path for some reason.
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Being positive is a worthy goal, Charles. Yes, I see the negativity. When I visited my parents and we watched the news, every story dealt with pain and suffering. And I’ve seen reviews on Amazon and Goodreads where people rant about how much they hate a book or DVD/blu-ray. I’ve seen people rant on twitter. The news mentioned a woman who complained about starting a new job on twitter. Complained, though many people are unemployed and wish they had a job. Well, her manager tweeted that she didn’t have to worry about the job any more, because she was fired. But her negativity gained her sympathetic tweets.
So thanks for being a place where we can find positive posts 🙂
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That’s why I stopped watching the news. I began feeling like there’s no good in the world or that negativity was winning.
Really strange about someone ranting about a new job. It really shows that people don’t think of the consequences of their online actions. On the same hand, I don’t think anyone is doing anything to make these incidents more serious. People see them as another ‘fool’ getting in trouble, but it seems to be more common than we think.
Product reviews are definitely an interesting arena when it comes to negativity and positivity.
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Great post Charles, the rant, if you want to call it that is justified. I find myself dwelling on the negative from time to time as you well know and then it hits me that I need to snap out of it a be more positive. I think there are a number of things in modern life that contribute to this and the internet certainly is a big one. Not only does it provide an almost unlimited amount of constantly updated information (not all of it true and/or good), but it also provides for anonymity which can make the most timid of person bold. The internet is a wonderful place to air one’s opinions exercising freedom of speech, but it also can be a haven for negative, disrespectful and hateful speech all under that cloak of anonymity that I mentioned. I personally have drastically reduced the amount of news that I watch, listen to and read. For me this breeds negativity that I then put in my posts. I can’t say that I will ever entirely stop writing and posting negative things, but hopefully they will be written with a constructive bend and certainly never in a disrespectful or hateful way. On that note, I think I will go and write some “positive” poetry.
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We do seem to plunge into negativity and it’s a sudden realization that we have to get back to a positive mind. It’s like bobbing in an ocean and repeatedly submerging and bursting back out for air.
News and Internet seem to be two of the bigger sources for people. Looking forward to the positive poetry.
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Ok….without being too negative here, you can’t do that. You simply can’t. The online community is riddled with negative people. They are SO negative, in fact, that they can’t be reasoned with. You cannot hold a normal back and forth with them. They will stay negative no matter what you say and you will never get fulfillment from conversing with these people. I have ended online verbal abuse with, “okay, I’m sorry. Maybe I didn’t understand. You win.” I got a negative statement from the person in response! So now, I ignore it. They call it “trolling.” These are people that say something offensive just to get a rise out of you. I choose to participate in constructive arguments, where both sides have valid points and can listen to different angles. I have boycotted even responding to obvious and deliberate negativity. Great post!!
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It’s definitely the wisest path to avoid those who are out there to get a rise. I’ve been in a few of those fights and you eventually get frustrated or turned around. Still, I think it says a lot about human behavior to see such a widespread push for negativity and ‘victory’ over a stranger in a debate of personal opinions. Some people simply want to win and refuse to give an inch, which does work in some situations. Friendly dialogues are not one of them.
Yet I have found online communities that are positive. One simply has to look for them. Guess I’m saying one can’t throw the few havens of positivity out with the negative.
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The way the algorithms work on Facebook, et all, when you click on a post or “like” anything, they give you more of it. I’ve noticed that I tend to get endless memes from the same two or three people, and my friends’ actual news is lost in the noise. So lately I’ve been holding back from “liking” any memes, even ones I agree with. I’m only “liking” posts they personally wrote. I’m also blocking the more obnoxious memes from the source, rather than from my friends.
Eventually, I hope, I’ll be able to see more news than memes. Because you have to look for the positive in life; negativity always gets the headlines.
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I try to stick to actual news from friends, but my FB wall has been a mess for well over a year. I’ve taken to ‘blocking’ the negative stuff as best I can.
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A journalist once said that bad news sells papers. It’s how society and the media is set up today. One thing I try to do whenever I want to understand if I have a negative vibe about me is to become conscience of the words (don’t, won’t, can’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t, haven’t, no, etc.). I tell ya, it’s a chore staying on top of them in a way as to promote a positive atmosphere. For instance I find myself trading phrases whenever I’m on that path. Like this: “I haven’t seen it” becomes “I have yet to see it.” Or “Don’t touch the salt shaker” becomes “Leave the salt shaker alone.” Like I said, it’s hard to do, but worth every moment.
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I can imagine how much work is involved in staying on top of that. Never realized the vibe from those words before. For myself, I use some of them a lot because I’m used to barking orders at a 5-year-old. Guess the words really have to be used with caution.
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I’m pretty sure I rant too much, but I try to ameliorate the impact by making it as funny as I can. I think it’s that freedom to be annoyed without obvious consequences. But I agree. There is too much hate in the world and it seems to appear on the internet more often. If I’m on a forum, for example, chatting, and things start to get nasty I just withdraw from the discussion. The harpies usually leave eventually. I dont know what to offer really except that I agree, we should try to be positive, but the folks like yourself are not the ones who need to take a look at their behaviour.
Cheers
MTM
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Humor can definitely counter the negativity in a rant. I try the same thing. As far as forums go, I tend to stay away from the public ones. Private chats with people I know feel safer because I’ve yet to see a public discussion that didn’t attract a nasty. I always wonder where they come from.
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Sadly, there are plenty of trolls in the real world too but they’re easier to forget. Some barking woman came and had a go at me in a supermarket car park the other day. The basic gist was that she saw me park a Lotus in the mother and child parking and then was mightily pissed off when I turned out to be a mother with a child and therefore perfectly entitled to park there and not a ripe target for her righteous anger. So having got herself all of a dither, she had to have a go about something and came up with a pathetically tenuous reason to be snarky. It’s not legal to put a child seat in a Lotus she told us. No, of course not, he’s my only son who took 12 years to make, and I’m married to a lawyer who could be struck off if I do anything illegal so clearly I’d never check that beforehand. I told her not to be silly and that it was none of her business and we went on our way.
Then there’s the bloke who did an enormous turd on our drive the night before last…
The world is full of the most extraordinary people, and not always in a good way.
Cheers
MTM
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Wow. Those are some strange people. I have seen a few people who get angry about something, realize it isn’t something to get angry about, and try to find something else. Probably think it’s the only way to save face.
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In the case of the lady in the car park, it was definitely a case of here building up some snark and having to spit it out, regardless.
Yep people are odd.
Cheers
MTM
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I want to live in a beautiful bubble – with trees and mountains and oceans and nature paths – totally isolated from negativity and horrible news and mean people. No, Charles, I’m not kidding. I do. I have plenty of life experiences to ponder and write about now, so send my bubble please.
Ellespeth
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Be nice if everyone got a positivity bubble when they rack up enough experiences. Sounds better than what retirement actually is. 😀
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