Got the song stuck in your head? Join the club, but I have a maniacal edge to mine. This morning, the toddler said he wanted the ‘Princess in the Snow’. He was introduced to ‘Frozen’ over the weekend and we weren’t sure it had an impact. Guess it did. If you know toddlers then a 1-day rental from Redbox or a 3-day from the library won’t cut it. The hunt was on for ‘Frozen’ on DVD. That began at 10:30 AM and I got home at 1:00 PM.
First, I tried Walmart since it was closest and they had a Subway (sandwich shop) in the building. I got there without a problem, which is the extent of my early victory. All they had was the ‘Collector’s Edition’. Why the fuck do I need the DVD, Blu-Ray, AND Digital copy? I’ve never been able to figure out the purpose of these combos. Especially since I’ve rarely seen a store out of them. Out of DVD Only? Yes. Out of Blu-Ray? Yes. Out of the blatant attempt to get extra money through use of the words ‘Collector’s Edition’? Only when the store ordered 4-5 copies during the debut week. I do wonder if part of the ploy is to get people to buy these versions because there are no other versions left. Why would you need 3 versions of the same movie? Seriously, I’d love to know the genuine answer to this. Is it the Anti-Social Family package, so every member can watch the movie in their own room?
Anyway, that was Walmart and I headed off to another store. During this trip, the vehicle behind me decided it wanted to perform the timid mating dance of automobiles. By this I mean the driver kept tapping their front bumper to my back bumper. I guess it was an attempt to make me go faster. Genius plan there, numb nuts. I assume the cars in front of me are mirages that I can harmlessly pass through. The lights are designed to prevent speeding and they suck. Live with it before someone feeds you your own steering wheel . . . and the store only had the Blu-Ray versions. Dang it. Also to the employee who thought saying ‘Maybe you should let it go’ was funny, my keys double as bootleg Wolverine claws if I hold them right. My laugh was not of agreement, but of looming madness.
Off to the mall in the opposite direction than where I was previously going . . . construction. Stop, go, stop, go, stop, go, GYAH! People switching lanes during this always irks me and I was already starving. Once I get past the blockage, it’ll all be good. Unless the construction vehicles finish while I within the first 10 cars of the jam and they pull out. Oh my fucking god and I don’t mean Aphrodite! People just swerved into the openings, cut people off, and acted like their cars were graceful ballerinas instead of hunks of metal on rubber. To the speedster who cut me off twice during the overall traffic jam, I hope you hit someone that gives you a windshield wiper colonoscopy.
Now things get weird. I got to the mall through more traffic and people auditioning for ‘Blood on the Asphalt’. Went through the mall and found . . . a line dancing mob in cowboy hats and flannel. I swear I’m not making this up. Cotton Eye Joe was playing and everything. Here:
This kind of broke me. It was the last thing I thought I would see and I just gave up on being in a rage. Found ‘Frozen’, ate some Chinese food, returned to the car, battled more random construction-based traffic, and dragged my butt home 2.5 hours after I left to simply ‘grab the movie at Walmart’.
I end on this note: check the blog of Michelle Proulx and her book Imminent Danger: And How to Fly Straight Into It. What does she have to do with this? She unintentionally gave me a laugh while I wrote this. How? I went to Youtube to find the ‘Let It Go’ video and who do I see has written the second comment? Michelle. Figure it’s simply bizarre that I stumble onto that, so I’ll take a universal hint and push her book. It’s been an odd day.
No idea what to do now.