This Ain’t Spring!

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Some rules to help people know if it’s really Spring or not:

  1. If there’s still snow in the forecast that is more than ‘flurries’, it’s NOT Spring.
  2. If you’re shivering under thermals and two blankets, it’s NOT Spring.
  3. If road plows and sanders are being kept ready for an emergency, it’s NOT Spring.
  4. If you can see your breath even at noon, it’s NOT Spring.
  5. If a hot shower is nothing more than temporary relief from the body aching cold, it’s NOT Spring.
  6. If flowers bloom one day and die a freezing death overnight, it’s NOT Spring.
  7. If weathermen and newscasters mention the ‘first day of Spring’ with a doubtful or highly amused tone, it’s NOT Spring.
  8. If you can still get away with keeping up Christmas decorations, it’s NOT Spring.

Anybody got any others?

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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54 Responses to This Ain’t Spring!

  1. Olivia Stocum says:

    If you still can’t scoop the dog poo out of the yard because it’s frozen. It’s NOT spring.

    Like

  2. 1WriteWay says:

    If it still takes 15 minutes for your car to warm up, it’s NOT spring.
    You guys are having such a rough time up north. If I could send warmth and sunshine your way, I truly would ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • Thanks. Interesting thing about the car warming up. We were told that it’s illegal in our area to leave a car running unattended. There was also a few incidents of cars being stolen while warming up. It really hasn’t been a good winter.

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      • 1WriteWay says:

        Oh, my. I wondered about that after I left the comment. I’m thinking back to almost 40 years ago when I was living in the country. We did indeed go outside, start up the car, and then go back inside and hang out for a few minutes, letting it idle. A few times here in Tallahassee, I’ve had to sit and let the car warm up so the ice would melt off the windshield (no, I don’t own an ice scraper). Although this is suburbia, I wouldn’t think to leave the car unattended while it’s running.

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      • We do it at times for a few minutes. Just go out, turn it on, crank the heat, and head back to stay warm for a bit. It really wasn’t a problem until this year.

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  3. twixie13 says:

    If you can see snowmobile aficionados out riding with like-minded people, it’s NOT spring.

    If you find yourself hugging your dog at random points as a source of warmth, it’s NOT spring.

    If you have taken to referring to this time of year as “Second Winter”…yeah, I got news for you. NOT spring. No matter how much the calendars and advertisers try to convince you otherwise.

    Like

  4. sknicholls says:

    If you are still hauling wood in for the fireplace, it’s not spring. (I used to always look forward to the time when that stopped when living on the farm in GA.)

    If the snowbirds still clog the roadways, it’s not spring. (My central FL opinion.)

    Like

  5. Myas says:

    If you wake up to snow on the lilacs Easter Sunday… it’s still spring. The only thing is the easter egg hunt will have to be held indoors even if it’s all melted by noon to avoid mud on Easter dresses and white gloves…

    Like

    • Do Jews still get to call it winter?

      Like

      • Myas says:

        Sure, Jews can call it winter. The way I see it, officially spring is Mar 20-ish, not that it matters because Punxsutawney Phil said 6 more weeks of winter on Feb 2nd, so we have to count… he’s more reliable than anyone. That puts winter over around the 16th… winter of course isn’t just going to say “ok by now” , and will remind us as it passes. When there’s snow on the flowers, you know it’s not going to last… unless we’ve really screwed up the environment and then we’d better take in what’s left before nothing grows at all.

        In any case, it’s still going to be cold but soon enough we’ll be able to complain about the heat and hope for cold air from Canada. Not so much here in the midwest… don’t remember where our breezes come from but being a New Yorker temporarily exiled, I remember cold air from Canada.

        That’s the basic Italian perspective.

        We are supposed to get snow today although the temp is supposed to get to 44… I intend to get out for a couple of walks and wore my winter coat for the first one this morning.

        Like

      • Cold air definitely comes from Canada. Though, we had high 50’s and even a bit of low 60’s recently. Then it plunged into the 20’s today. That’s rather extreme to me. Then we get more snow tomorrow and Wednesday.

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      • Myas says:

        Not for anything but you’re beginning to sound like the midwest… I don’t blame you for being tired of the cold. I know I am. It supposed to drop again tonight and 40 tomorrow… with extremes in temperature we merit tornados on top of it.. April will be rainy into May.. By Memorial Day it should be warm…

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      • It’s rough. One issue is that the local power companies keep raising the price, which prompts people to avoid using the heat. Not easy or fun to do with a toddler who doesn’t understand the concept of keeping layers on.

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      • Myas says:

        That doesn’t make it easy… My daughter’s bill was through the roof when my grandson was an infant. She kept it turned up. This year costs were raised by 15%. We’ve yet to hear a really good reason why.

        Everyone moves to Florida… maybe the southwest would do it.

        Like

      • I lived in Florida and the power company is better, but they have a lot of blackouts. At least in my area they did. Though they have some nasty weather too.

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      • Myas says:

        Yes. I remember being in Orlando, seeing the sights and torrential rains. Felt like I was going to be washed off the map. Then again, the couple of times I went to Daytona Beach were glorious! Nothing but ocean and sun.

        West… I’d go with West…

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      • I still remembering getting trapped under a stairwell during one downpour. It was gone in 10 minutes, which was strange.

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      • Myas says:

        I think Madrid is like that. The rain is gracious enough to let you get somewhere before it comes down again, then stops for the entire summer… nine months of winter and 3 of hell – the true forecast.

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      • Yikes. 9 months of winter would drive me insane.

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      • Myas says:

        It’s mean and undramatic… no noticeable change until one day it’s warm, then it’s hot. There’s a good reason for staying in for the afternoon. Their homeless are elitists and won’t stay at the shelters because of the restrictions. Their house is whatever sidewalk bench they’ve chosen.

        In the summer the city stinks … but nothing stops the tourists… nothing.

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      • What does the city stink in the summer?

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      • Myas says:

        It stinks from the smell of urine thanks to dogs and the homeless… it stinks from trash being put out. I know it’s hard to imagine but there is no rain in the summer. If it happens once or twice that is a monumental event. A month goes by and no rain. If it eeks on longer than a month street workers hose places down, you have to but that’s not the same as natural rains on a regular basis.

        Interesting place Madrid.

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      • That’s definitely interesting. Reminds me of the NYC subway in the summer, but even that gets cleaned. I think. I really just hope it does.

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      • Myas says:

        I’m going to side with I think the subway gets cleaned. Any work Madrid needs gets done at night. It’s not as crowded as during the day but it’s still busy.

        Here’s a once upon a time from not that long ago:

        I met up with a friend one evening and did this and that wasting time until about 2 a.m. I knew the metro stopped running at 1:30 so I had a walk ahead of me. I wondered how safe it would be and took the main paseo (boulevard) straight through to the part of town I lived. I was not alone. Street sweepers, trash removal, minor construction, anything that had to be done to the city was being done. There were so many workers who had my back it was overwhelming and I was an hour and 1/2 away from my flat power walking. I remember a small group of partiers consisting of prostitutes and transvestites laughing and staggering around… this was closer to where I lived getting on to about 4. I knew them from seeing them – I walked, traveled the metro to work and walked when I wasn’t working. It’s such a huge city – there’s always a new corner to discover.
        One of the funniest things I saw was on the metro at 6 am – that’s when it starts running again so drunk people are catching it the rest of the way home and cranky people going to work are catching it giving dirty looks to the drunk people because they couldn’t stay out and party all night. It was great.

        Thanks Dr Yallowitz… talking about this cures my ills. I’m actually feeling warmer…

        Like

      • The morning does sound entertaining. It makes sense to do road work and cleaning at night though because there’s fewer people to get around. I think the trains run all night in NYC though.

        Glad to be of help against the cold.

        Like

      • Myas says:

        It’s been a while since NYC but in a city that never sleeps, I imagine maintenance is on the move…

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      • Been a while too, but I don’t remember a time when NYC felt quiet. I assume if that ever happens, the zombie apocalypse will have begun.

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      • Myas says:

        You think with that many zombies in NYC? Maybe seeing they growl and don’t talk… It’ll be different noise and no cars… yeah, that would be quiet.

        Well, I just found out thanks to Facebook my sister eloped with her fiance during Yankees spring training in Tampa! No one in NY knew…

        Too much. It certainly has turned out to be one hell of a day!

        Like

      • Sometimes I think Facebook is one of the worst inventions of mankind. People tend to use it for important events without realizing that it’s public and not everyone is on there.

        Like

      • Myas says:

        I still haven’t decided how I feel about it. One of her friends who was there for the elopement posted the pictures… I just don’t know. Would’ve been nice to’ve gotten a call…

        Life goes on…

        Like

      • Makes sense. Rough for family when friends are included instead.

        Like

      • Myas says:

        I’m not all that surprised. It’s her third marriage. You get to a certain point you can be free and do what you want. They both love the Yankees, had planned to go to spring training, were married in casual clothes and baseball shirts – nice shirts not Ts – and her bouquet was in the shape of a baseball.

        I would’ve liked a call though. Like when I found out about her engagement through Facebook, she wrote an extensive message to me and was super-encouraging about life and my writing. She accused me of being an author! Ok then…

        Like

      • I know a few people who eloped after one or two failed marriages. Though I never asked them why.

        Like

  6. If your yard looks white instead of green, it’s NOT Spring. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  7. M T McGuire says:

    If it’s this sodding cold it’s not spring. It’s colder than it’s been all winter here a vile biting south wind and temperatures only just above freezing. Frosts too… and Britain is supposed to be a temperate climate. Nothing like you lot have got but still a complete pain.

    Cheers

    MTM

    Like

  8. Jack Flacco says:

    Your #8 is perfect. We just packed away all or Christmas decorations last weekend. The last of it, a snowy ornamental town display went back into the basement. Miss that town.

    Here’s mine: If the weatherman doesn’t mention the Arctic Vortex then you know it’s spring…although that may be debatable considering the winter we had.

    Like

  9. Pingback: Just a couple of days of this | Common Sense LivingCommon Sense Living

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