Struck in the chest
Left between rage and sorrow
All hard work
Calling to be dashed
Rankings and sales
Mean nothing
Unless I possess the wealth
In record time
Do I cry?
Do destroy?
Asked about Plan B
Returning to the cube
Which is met with disdain and sneers
As if I’m the King of Losers
A quitter in lieu of forced
The deadline of a dream
Legends of Windemere 
The deadline is terrible, no one becomes a literary success overnight, in many cases it takes a lifetime. You certainly have been giving it a 110% effort. Hang in there my friend. 🙂
LikeLike
That’s the thing. I’m not sure I’m going to be ‘permitted’ to hang in there much longer. I’ve basically been told that I failed and need to move on. One of the reasons I’ve gotten this far is because I treat this like a real, full-time job. I get a day job and I’ll never be able to keep up the writing pace. I’d become a rarity on here if I managed to stay at all.
LikeLike
Unfortunate – I have tried to be supportive of my daughter so she can live her dream. These things never happen quickly. You are an amazing author and I love your books and look forward to the next one. Success should not be measured by dollars alone. I would say you are definitely a successful writer – look at the number of books you have sold. I know that you pour your heart and soul into marketing (as you need to) and in your writing – and it shows. I hope that cooler heads will prevail and you can continue writing – the dollars will grow. Hugs and as Dom said “hang in there my friends.”
LikeLike
Thanks. I can’t figure out why I don’t have the support. In fact, it makes me wonder if I’ve ever had it. Very few in my family have ever been really behind my goal to be an author. It’s the verbal ‘you can do it’ with nothing backing it up.
I’m going to try to hang in there. It’s just hard to focus on writing today with the sense that I could be pushed to quit by the end of the month. Means I have 3 hours with no focus, which is not like me.
LikeLike
It’s okay to take time with no focus. Set a time limit though so it doesn’t consume you. Never quit believing that you are worthy.
I know my daughter’s situation is different, but she has been barely eeking by for 18 months. I try and help as I can. I know she is happier.
Good luck. I’m in your corner.
LikeLike
Thanks. I’d be able to regain focus if I could escape the house. He’s gone now, but he’ll be back to continue. The thing is I believe I can make given enough time. I’m just not being given enough time.
LikeLike
It’s a tough position to be in and the lack of familial support can make writing feel even more lonely. You are a great writer and I’ve learnt so much from you in terms of marketing, writing and social media promotion. Your time has certainly not been wasted on this platform. However having said this, if you do end up returning to the “cube”, try to develop a new writing schedule and you’ll begin to find another rhythm which might be slower but still successful. Don’t ever give up.
LikeLike
Thanks. The problem is that I tried to live within the ‘cube’ and write for 10 years. I come home to chaos and weekends are a mess. My writing, blogging, and marketing would become nearly non-existent. It would end up being another 10 years at best before I even got the shot.
As for the rhythm, I don’t think I’ll have it in me. Legends of Windemere is the big series that would kick off the others. If I lost the momentum on it then I’d just lose the spark to try again. I simply don’t have it in me.
LikeLike
You are not the King of Losers and don’t let anyone let you think that…
LikeLike
Thanks. It’s just feeling like a bad, unproductive day.
LikeLike
You aren’t the king of lovers you are the king of squirrels.
LikeLike
Well, I am nuts.
LikeLike
What is a success to some, is a failure to others, and vice-versa. We don’t all measure these things the same way. Publishing can really grow at some point. Three books into a series isn’t sufficient information (although everything you have going so far looks very promising).
My sales for my first dozen books and couple of years were promising, but not much. I kept pushing, and sales are twenty times better now (I no longer question my decision to self-publish). Not all authors take off after getting several books out there, but there are many good signs with yours. I hope it works out. 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks. I hope so too. As a friend stated, this entire thing seems to have been stacked against me. I’m looking at the progress and other people are looking purely at the financial gain. I learned early on that with any art-based career, you can’t look solely at the money when starting out. The reputation and foundation of one’s career is more important.
LikeLike
I don’t know how you managed things before this year but this year alone has been amazing. Three books published and so many times each one has been in top 100 lists. That is monstrously successful. Your dedication and support means so much to so many. I hope this is a bad day that melts away. I could not imagine trying to nurse full-time, write, market, keep up a blog and the Facebook Groups…add to that raising a family. I admire and applaud you.
LikeLike
I managed things rather poorly before this year. I plotted and outlined in vain. Book 3 was written in 2007 and book 4 was this year. Shows how little writing time I was able to find. I hope this melts away, but things might get worse before it gets better. The deadline is coming and it’s appearing that nothing I do can prove I’m on the right path. I wouldn’t be able to balance all of this and the full-time job. It gets chaotic in the evening and weekends.
LikeLike
That is a sad thought. We so need you here. Yes, I am being selfish. It would be ideal if the cost of living was such that people could do what they most find pleasure in. It is like the “starving artist” world for most indies. You need patrons for financial support in order to complete big projects..
LikeLike
I know, but I’ve been seeing an increase with every book released. By the end of January, I’ll have the first 6 Legends of Windemere books done. That will cover 2014 books too. I’m looking into releasing a special project a week before the 4th book too. This is why I’m getting frustrated. I’ll get to the point of ‘success’ soon enough and go beyond it. I just need time.
LikeLike
and support.
LikeLike
That’s always the trick.
LikeLike