Superman’s Fortress of Solitude
Not really sure how to start this one, so I’ll just say it: I nearly walked away from WordPress, writing, and everything this morning. I’ve spent the last month fighting to get work done and only keeping up. I barely even caught up since I don’t comment as much as I used to. Most of the time, I simply don’t know what to say because I’m so horribly burnt out or depressed.
The truth is that I’m exhausted and I thought this post out in my head while pushing my son on the swing. Now, I’m here and drained. I’ve recently learned that my parents and some of their friends read this blog, so this led to a recent discussion about the ‘bad stuff’ of social media. This is the talk that you reserve for your teenage daughter when you find that she’s posted underwear shots of herself on Facebook. Basically, I’ve painted some people in a bad light and they’re annoyed. Yet, what am I really supposed to do? Make up excuses for why I’m posting in a bad mood and not admit that my family pisses me off a lot? Not reveal that I’m on a December deadline to ‘succeed’ in writing? What about the fact that my son being home seemed to eliminate my nights and weekends too even after the therapists said I should be given those times to work? You see why it’s all built up to a level of ‘Fuck it all’. This concludes the whining part of the post. Possibly.
Now due to the month of jack shit getting done, I’m left with a priority rearranging. I need to hand edit books 4 and 5 of Legends of Windemere. I need to find guest blogs and interviews. I need to edit Legends of Windemere: Allure of the Gypsies before the Halloween debut, which requires late nights. This will make the 6 AM wake-ups rough and painful. Honestly, I’m not even sure of the quality of what I’ve written this year because of the chaotic mess that is my home life. So the following will happen:
- I will make one big post a day or 3 poetry posts a day. These will be scheduled the night before.
- Exceptions to #1 will be a theme day (Sari may get a day soon) or building hype for the next book. It’s a loose rule.
- I will still reblog posts to help people promote projects and such.
- I will try to make 1 post on the CSB every few days.
- I won’t be commenting as much as I used to, but I think that’s dropped off a lot due to the month of jack shit getting done.
- I will be working to respond to comments relatively quickly.
I started this blog to promote my writing, so I refuse to leave. I also can’t let it replace my writing when I have limited time. So, I won’t be as prolific here. I’ll be social, but I really need to focus on Windemere to get stuff done.
Legends of Windemere 
Hey man, sorry it’s so rough! Hope things get better!
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Me too. I just need to refocus on the writing and get shit done.
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Good luck, Charles – restructuring the digital world we live in, when all it (and everyone else) wants to do is grab at your attention, is hard. You can do it though!
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Thanks. It may take a few days to get settled into the less active role. Reminds me that I still have a guest blog to write up today.
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I don’t know if you read Andra/Accidental Cootchie Mama, but she did a digital detox that outlined a good (if drastic) schedule to follow. I semi took it to heart to reorient my time, and it’s seemed to work reasonably well. http://andrawatkins.com/2013/08/06/details-of-my-digital-detox/
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I’m not sure I could go that far. I’m going to see how it goes with setting up a morning post the night before. That way I only have to worry about catching up on blogs that appeared over night and then do it again at lunch. Things may be easier once the toddler is back at school.
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School does make life a little easier – a little bit more structure (in our house, anyway)!
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It gives me a bulk of the day to get stuff done. As long as I don’t pass out because he’s the first to be picked up in the morning.
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Good luck Charles. I hope things get easier.
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Thanks. I’ll still be around, but I really need to cut back on my own posting.
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Don’t worry about it. People will understand. You have many friends here that support you.
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I’m sure a few people would hunt me down if I disappeared too.
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Don’t worry. We will protect you, my friend
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Unless you’re part of the hunting party. 😉
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I wouldn’t do that.
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Not without a horse, bugle, and hounds, right? Do people actually consider that a sport?
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In the UK it was certainly considered a sport, though not so much nowadays. It was also considered a way to keep control of the foxes that killed chickens and things.
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I can see fox control, but I get list on the sport since it always looked like dogs and horses did the work.
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Just do your best, Charles, and if things like commenting have to slide, so be it. You can’t be a superhero all the time.
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I’m hoping to get into a schedule where I set up posts the night before and can focus on commenting on stuff in the morning while waking up. Should make things a little easier.
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Your first priority is your writing. Even writers with fewer stresses than you cut back now and then. Everyone will understand. We just want you to succeed, and if that means cutting back on blogging so you can focus more in writing, then do so with our blessing.
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Thanks. It’s going to be hard to step away though. Really enjoyed being so active, but I have to be smart.
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You must focus grasshopper! Focus on the current and future books. When you can remove the pebble… ah to heck with it. A few days away from here would probably do you a whole lot of good. And if those people don’t want to be singled out for being less than supportive, then they should start supporting your efforts. It really is that simple.
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It really is that simple. I think I can do this without vanishing completely. Focusing more on the book is very important because I know I have fans that want me to keep the series moving at a good pace.
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Thank you for sharing the beautiful honesty of this post. It is tough for all of us and it would seem that you have more challenges than most. I echo what everyone else has said, take the time to do what you need to do and we will all still be here to support you when you need us. Good luck. 🙂
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Thankfully, I’m not walking entirely away. I’m just going to settle for one big post or a few small poems scheduled from the day before. I still want to support and reblog people here, so I’ll be around. Just more phantom-like some days.
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I hear you there, some days I don’t know if I have time to brush my teeth! lol I keep hoping it will get easier….someday…:)
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Me too. I forget to shave for days some times. I’ve had to depend on my son getting curious about why my face feels funny to remind me.
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You have captured nicely what we all would like to say one time or another, With your permission whenever I feel like this I’m going to scream “Yallowitz It!” (Boy that made me feel better)
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Go right ahead. My name shall live in infamy.
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Did the comment make you laugh?
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I did chuckle. My mood is improving since I finish an author interview and a guest blog today. I just need to make progress on stuff to get my mood back. Editing on 1.5 chapters in a month is terrible for a guy who used to edit 1 chapter a day.
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Ahhh…John you gave me a big chuckle on this one! I love the “Yallowitz It!” I’m gonna have to join you on that one 🙂
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Too bad the name is so long. “Smith it” might be easier.
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It is so easy to get sucked into the rabbit hole called social media. I recently gave up my personal Facebook account – I feel a little like I’m missing things, but I’m sure someone will let me know if there is something important. After all, only a few years ago, we didn’t even have these tools. It can be overwhelming and create unnecessary stress. Good luck
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I’m amazed how many people post stuff on Facebook and never tell anyone that isn’t on there. A few friends are having kids and I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t stumbled onto the FB posts.
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Sounds a sensible plan – any vocation – whether creative or the more traditional paid employee type – ultimately comes down to time management – and it’s fair enough to sometimes look up and cry to the heavens for the difficulty of juggling everything and the exhaustion involved. I find with poetry that I write a lot in batches on the weekend the schedule way ahead – at this stage I have poems scheduled for the next month and some stage this or next weekend I’ll write another bunch…that way I know I’m keeping the blog going but in a way I can manage time wise because most weekdays, due to an often ridiculously busy and stressful job, it is all the time I have to just respond to comments of the day and check out blogs I follow. And of course, like you, I also juggle time re the novels I have or am about to publish. So I know your pain and understand it…good luck with everything, you have established a great momentum and I hope it continues an the pressure relieves for you. 🙂
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The time juggle was really bad this last month because the added difficulty of family really killed me. I wasn’t able to try for author interviews or guest blogs like I did before. Though, I’m not sure what would make a difference.
Taking an hour out of my night to write and set up a post or a few poems for the next day will take a lot of the edge off. Leaves me with only blog reading, FB promos, and Twitter promos the following morning.
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Sounds like a plan! Good luck!! 🙂
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I am not going to post a lot for you to read here. Just know we understand and we’ve got your back. Love and cupcakes!
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Thanks. I appreciate the love and cupcakes.
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I have to admit. I was sad to see your name drop off the CSB story list. I was excited to know how you would wrap that up. But I must confess, I am going through a similar struggle and seriously thought about dropping my own off. (and I don’t have a toddler)
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I took to that down and then told Bradley that I simply couldn’t do it. I have 3 books to edit and prepping for the next release. So, I have to cut back here. Just post when I have time.
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I feel like this several times a week.
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I’ve come close a lot, but today really went to hell within the first hour.
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Life gets in the way of life and I completely agree with you! Gotta take care of yourself first then the rest is winging it daily by my own experience.
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I think I can handle the winging it. The big test is going to be only posting in the morning of each down. That’s cutting back a lot.
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Be like me. Sporadic and spontaneous 😀
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Glad you didn’t quit. 🙂 Sometimes, you need a short break, and sometimes once you finally feel like you made good progress on your main writing it relieves a great deal of anxiety, at least that’s the case for me. I hope things ease up in a while, and that things work out well.
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The toddler goes back to school next week, so that should help. I did notice that I shave at least an hour off my morning routine if I schedule the post. Probably be easier if I do only one post a day around noon.
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I choose my writing over blogging everyday – always have. We owe it to ourselves to become as dedicated to our writing as possible. Maybe you’ll feel less frazzled once the little one gets back to school.
You have a right to say what you please even when others don’t agree – I’ve never gotten the feeling that you are deliberately being unkind. Most of us will never ever meet your family. Reminds me of a ‘what will the neighbors think’ mentality. You’re not forcing your family to read your blog 😛
I’m sorry you’re going through this, Charles.
Ellespeth
ps – that wordpress reader is dreadful. I’m trying not to feel obligated by it.
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I’m glad I moved to email, so it’s easier to handle the blogging. I maintain the blogging because it’s human interaction and I talk shop with a lot of people. Also, it’s fun to talk to friends. The difficulty was that I had so many people around and was unable to leave, so my writing took a backseat. I worry that if I ever get to the point where I have a contract then I’ll suffer because of the circus of this household. That’s what was going through my head all of last month. I’d be doomed if I had a strict deadline.
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Probably, after this school year, your little one will be in school for a full day. That will really be a great help! When you get to the point where you have a contract and a deadline, perhaps people will leave you alone to write for several uninterrupted hours.
My husband’s niece’s husband (wow what a mouthful) stays home and watches the toddler twins and a 10 yr old. He has since the 10 yr old was born. It’s working out great for them. He does something from home on the stock market – not sure what it is and she has the outside job. We all consider him a blessing to their little family. Society is changing. We look at lifestyles differently – even my generation at 62 – no longer think in those old suffocating ways.
Ellespeth
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He’s already in a full day program for Pre-K, but the district we’re in has only half day Kindergarten. So, that’s going to be a problem.
There is a lot of odd reactions to stay-at-home fathers. It’s still seen as the role of a lazy guy or loser.
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Do what you gotta do Charles, and I wish you the best on meeting your deadlines and goals.
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Thanks. I’m hoping I can keep it all together. Though, I’m stumped on what to post today.
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I always admire honesty. I hope things get better for you Charles. I can relate in part to the frustration with family. And I know it’s been mentioned before how the lack of understanding and support for writing careers plays a role in the levels of frustration and stress. I think you are taking care of you and that’s what is important. We will all be here for the times you can be here. Writing needs to be your number one priority! Take care of yourself and thank you for being you :0)
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Thanks. I’m going to see how the new system/schedules works with one post this morning. After that I focus more on editing and comments. Fingers crossed.
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Here’s hoping it’s working for you so far, Charles!!!
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Everybody needs to do this from time to time. And thank you for being honest about the process. I too have limited commenting and just kind of taken a step back. I certainly don’t begrudge you your need to do this. Chin up and good luck.
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Thanks. It’s going smoother with the minimal posting and commenting.
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I’m thinking and praying for you, my friend. I hope life can only get better from here. Good luck to you.
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Me too. The minimal posting and early prep is helping a lot.
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I’ve stepped back from WP too. It was consuming most of my time, leaving very little of it to write which is why I started blogging in the first place. There is a balance somewhere and I’m still struggling to find it. I don’t comment nearly as much as I used to but I am writing more and that makes me happy. Best of luck to you, Charles, and don’t give up. You are meant to be a writer.
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Same here. I read and like, but comment only when I have time or insight. It feels a little disheartening to do it though.
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