Don’t touch that dial, you’ve discovered Lisa Burton Radio. The only show out there where the characters from the books you love get to tell their stories. I’m your host, Lisa the robot girl, and we’re waiting for my guest to call in. What am I, competing with The View or something? Where is this guy?

<Squeeeeeerrrrrooooooo>

Wait a minute, I’m getting some feedback that I’ve heard before on the show. Let me add another gallon of psychode to the ectomometer and turn the planchette up to seven. Maybe we can get someone else on the show.

<Squeeeeeerrrrrooooooo>

<Kick, thump>

“Hello? Er, where the hell am I?”

“You’re on the air with Lisa Burton Radio. Ah there you are, I’m starting to get a visual. Nice red shoes – very Dorothy of you. Love the outfit too – black’s a favourite colour of mine…