This isn’t as funny as previous stories, but somebody requested it when I hinted at it.  I’m going to balance it with a ‘revenge’ story.

In freshman year, I made a few friends and we bonded over video games, wrestling, pizza, and stupid noises.  My roommate, two of our friends, and I decided to hang out with this other guy that we’re going to call Richard.  Not even close to his real name.  Anyway, my roommate HAD to show us a super move in Street Fighter.  We watched and waited patiently.  Suddenly, Richard decided to come up behind me with his key lanyard and wrap it around my neck.  He was choking me out and I had no idea why.  At first, I thought he was goofing off, but I quickly realized he was fucking stupid.  Vision swam, face turned blue, and my roommate was still focused on the television cursing at Ryu.  In his defense, I wasn’t making any noise.

One of the other friends (a wrestler in high school) jumped in to save me and went off on Richard.  The excuse was that I didn’t tap out.  I was still unsure of my surroundings, but I think I remember someone crying in pain behind me.  Richard might have been put into a submission hold as a lesson.  Apologies were shared and I made it a note to never let this guy behind me.

Weeks later, I couldn’t find any of my gaming friends and had wandered my way to Richard’s room.  Well, I was looking for his neighbor, but he had Castlevania: Symphony of the Night on his Playstation.  I was intrigued and drawn to it, forgetting what had happened.  Though, I was a tougher person and would have thrown down with him if he tried it again.

We said ‘hi’ and he showed me the game until he had to make a phone call.  It was to a girl that he must have encountered earlier.  At first, I thought girlfriend.  Then he explained how he got her number, which made me wonder what was going on.  She hung up on him.  He called back, exchanged words, and she hung up again.  Third time, he went in swearing and screaming, daring her to call the police.  Take a guess who showed up at his door 10 minutes later.

Around this time, he gave me the controller and told me to wander around.  He stood in the hallway arguing with the cops who were explaining what a restraining order is.  I listened until I got busy.  You see, he was near the end of the game and I stumbled into the final boss fight.  While he was getting a restraining order, I was decimating Dracula while barely knowing the buttons.  My quote of this encounter was:

“Don’t come back into the room unless you want to see the ending!”

He punched me in the arm and spent a few tries pathetically dying.  I left and reported the incident to my friends, who thought it was hilarious.

There were other encounters with this guy.  He tried to convince me to write a story with him that resulted in a ‘computer crash’.  I got stuck sitting next to him on a 10-hour train ride listening to him talk about some of the nastiest, most disgusting things that I had ever heard.  I refuse to repeat it.  Near the end of the year, he was looking for me and my roommate sent him to the lake.  He thought I was elsewhere, but I was at the lake and felt ‘something’ approach.  I hope after all these years, Richard has matured and is no longer the guy that tried to kill me.