I’m just stunned and confused now.  Leave out the stuff with taxes and the ex-wife as well as the application to graduate school.  All of those have been kind of dwarfed by the big thing going on.  Been trying to decide on if I should talk about it or not since I’m seeing many online demand that others stop whining.  Yet, I have many loved ones who are high risk in regards to this crisis.  This post might be what I need to get some thoughts out into the open.  I’m not being coy either.  We all know what’s coming:

Coronavirus

First, after a week of uncertainty, my school was closed for two weeks.  I’m sure someone will say the silver lining is that I can write my books.  You’re right, but that’s a hard pill to swallow.  My son’s school is still open, so I’m worried about him.  I want it to close for his safety, which means I’ll be his teacher for the day.  That takes away the writing unless he agrees for us to have writing/learning mornings.  Another issue here is that my Spring Break got moved to March while his, as long as his school stays open, is remaining in April.  I can’t take time off, so all of those plans are junked.  Happy 40th birthday to me at that time too.  It’s all such a flood of chaos and changing situations, so I’m having trouble wrapping my head around things.

One of the things making it worse is seeing people tell others to chill out or that this thing isn’t that bad.  Seen many claim it’s just a bad cold.  Well, a ‘bad cold’ can still turn into pneumonia and kill you.  Better to be cautious and a little scared than ignore the dangers that can get other people killed as well.  I think a big part of this mentality is the ‘not a problem for me’ and ‘Internet safety’ stuff.  You can spout this nonsense pretty easily when you don’t have to look others in the eye.  Easy to do it when you don’t know anyone who is high risk either.  There’s that lack of empathy, which I fear will continue and make the situation worse.  Imagine those who don’t think it’s bad go out, catch the virus by accident, and then interact with someone who is high risk.  Ignorance and arrogance can be really dangerous in these times.

Now, I know this is where some people will say I’m overreacting.  Many have told me this because they live in areas that aren’t as affected.  A few even told me that it isn’t so bad because barely anyone had the diseases around them.  Wuh?  Keep in mind where I live for a minute.  LONG ISLAND!  You have NYC, which is a major international hub for cruise ships and airplanes.  People travel in and out of that city from Westchester and Long Island for work and play every day.  A lot of transmission points and chances.  We’re tightly packed down here too.  I can get to the next town over in 5-10 minutes by car.  It would be 2-3 if I didn’t have other cars and red lights in the way.  So, diseases can flow across this area faster than the more open and widespread upstate region.  It’s a terrible place to be for a global pandemic because I feel our chances of being infected are higher than those with more space.  You laugh at people stockpiling toilet paper and I’ve done it too.  Yet, I can see a reasoning for it here.  We are terrified and have no idea if Long Island is going to be locked down completely.  Block those bridges, stop that ferry, and we’re trapped to let the disease runs its course through the population . . . Okay, being a fiction author in this situation leads to horrific thoughts.

I have my son this weekend and I’m waiting to see if he goes in on Monday.  We have only one appointment, which is for a quick haircut.  At this point, such an outing isn’t too bad and we’ll see if anything else happens.  We’ll go over his Google Classroom stuff to get an idea of what we’re doing if he’s home.  My mind isn’t letting me wander beyond all of this too.  Maybe I’ll write tonight after he goes to bed.  Got 7 sections left on War of Nytefall: Ravenous.  Once I’m done, I might just do the outline for the next volume and dive right into War of Nytefall: Savagery.  The last 3 books are going in a different direction because of things I did in this volume, so I need time to focus.  2 weeks means I can finish one book, outline another, and get maybe 3-4 chapters into the next one.

So, goals of the week . . . I don’t know.  I do a list here, but my mind is so frazzled.  There’s this weird part that is screaming to run into Windemere.  Not physically, but to grab my outline and start typing while I forget this world for a bit.  I’m at the start of the final fight chapter and Clyde’s Lord’s Rage is roaring.  I can use that escape, but I have people here who need attention.  My son is top priority.  Keep him entertained and maybe try to do a little of the classwork in case Monday is a wash.  Oh yeah, Jurassic World Live Tour was cancelled. He took it better than me.  At least we got the holographic tickets and a full refund?  I was so looking forward to that all week.

Starting to tear up for no reason because of the stress.  Going to call it a night since I’m writing this on Friday evening.  I’ve reached a wall and need sleep.  The sad song playing on Pandora isn’t helping.  Traitorous bastard of a program.  Hope everyone is safe and healthy out there.  Remember that some people in ‘mild’ areas and others are in high risk spots, so don’t think your situation is the same for someone who is freaking out or shrugging it off.  Talk and tell your story.  Maybe enough of those on the Internet will turn this pandemic from something we hear about on the news every day into something both human and tangible.