What can I really say about this week? I went to work for test proctoring (classes on Monday) and then I got maybe two hours to get to training for my summer job. This was every day except for Friday, which was a doctor appointment. By that point, I was too tired to do anything since the training periods went to about 9 on most nights. Dinner was either really early or late because of the timing. I tried to get extra sleep, but other things reared up whenever I got back. This was just an exhausting week.
And that’s pretty much it. I can’t see anything else to talk about since that was all I did. I kind of finished another puzzle, but the reality is that someone else decided to put in the last 10 or so pieces while I was out. Couldn’t get to anything on TV that’s worth talking about. Wrote one blog post for August, but couldn’t get near my writing. That makes it almost a month since I touched my book, which is wearing on me. I probably shouldn’t, but here’s one thing I really should mention.
People really don’t get why I think it’s a nightmare to have such a big break between writing sessions. Continuity and flow of mood is going to be atrocious unless I sacrifice a day to read over a few chapters. The reason it takes a day is because shit keeps happening here. I tried this once a few months back and it was a glorious failure. Used Saturday to read things and planned on Sunday being a writing day. What happened? I was thrown off by my ex-wife suddenly texting me about things and was thrown off. That’s the problem I face here, which people don’t understand. I’m routinely derailed and it’s reached a point where I wonder what the point is. You can’t start writing a book, especially part of a series, and disappear on it for months. There’s no way to remember every piece of foreshadowing, tone markers, and everything else that helps with a proper flow. Not with the types of books I write.
Many people have also stated that I’ll get back to writing one day . . . I don’t see how this is helpful. I’ve stated many times that I have 100+ books in various states of outlining. If I get back to writing in my 70’s, that gives me maybe 10-20 years to write all of those. At that point, I feel like I shouldn’t even bother doing more than outlining and staying in the shadows. Even if I was just writing the books to have them written, I wouldn’t be able to finish them before I died at that age. So, the possibility of me getting back to writing doesn’t fill me with hope. It brings up the question of ‘will it be too late?’ and another question of ‘what was the point of all of my previous work?’. I can’t even get to my notebooks these days because I’m either busy, dragged away on free days, exhausted beyond belief, and emotionally crippled by another incident.
This week being so busy and next week not looking any better until Saturday really drove this issue home. Only finding one person who seemed to get why I was on the verge of tears about it didn’t really help. Why are artists always told that their time will come or talked to as if they’re overreacting? History is filled with artists who could never find the time to work on what they love or were talked out of even trying. Society really doesn’t like creative people until they’re household names, which means those who aren’t there are treated like they’re wasting their time or simply impatient. For God’s sake, there is a layer of dust on the outline of War of Nytefall: Eradication. I’m not even kidding on that one.
As I said, this week is going to be busy too. I have more tests to proctor and 3 weekdays require that I go off to camp right afterwards. One is setup and the other is when camp starts, but my job doesn’t end until Friday. Got training on Friday night too. Because I have to go rushing between locations, I can’t bring my laptop to work on my book in the library like I did once during midterms. I’d have to leave my laptop in the car with a lot of people around. My hope is that I can get 2 of the 3 remaining chapters done next weekend, but I’m already seeing that some people demand that I be social. All I need is 3 days to finish this book and I can put it aside for the summer then return to edit it once camp is done. Was that really too hard to ask for since I’ve been working for 7 months on a book that I used to finish in 1.5 months?
Yeah, this is more of a rant than goals, but my schedule is fairly set. Can’t talk a lot about the stuff that happened too. Test events are kind of private.
Goals for the week?
- Parenting
- Work
- Camp
- Sleep
- Try to eat better
- Puzzle for some relaxation
- Maybe write next weekend
- Maybe tinker with an outline at school if I have the time
- Never eat rainbow cake again
Legends of Windemere 
I totally get it, and I haven’t even finished books like you have. Since this is ongoing, though, you’re going to need to change that mindset before The World will change -you know, more of a, “I keep getting interrupted and losing my immersion of thought, so I WILL….”
I mean, what advice would you spell out if your very best friend came to you with the same complaints?
And, yes, life sucks. Sorry, man.
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That’s the thing. I don’t have any advice. I’d probably offer to help them get a weekend to write. The ‘your time will come’ speeches tend to ring empty after a while. After I’ve tried all of the tactics that I could think of and still failing, I’m really tapped out.
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Oh, I’m in the same boat. …maybe the same ocean? I don’t think you’ll get a “your time will come” the way it was. You need a workable solution with what you have, which is not going to be long sessions each day.
I never watch you write, but ridiculously more copious notes may be one idea.
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I already have detailed character bios, location write ups, plot summaries, section by section outlines, monster physiologies, and artifact explanations. Can’t get any more ridiculous.
I can’t even get one long session a month at this rate. That’s insane.
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Yeah. I may have had time to do something like that when I was 8… 🙂
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Now I’m curious about the rainbow cake. But if it involves getting sick off of it, never mind. How much more training do you have to do for this job?
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The summer job starts Thursday. Got a setup day and then final training on Friday. I have to spend those days rushing from the school job to the summer job too.
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Nothing much to add. I lost a month this spring and it was maddening. I wanted to get Serang out the door before school let out, but that’s why I didn’t. We can only do what life allows us to do. I lost (gave up on) a book one time for these same reasons. I still have the partial manuscript, but may never look at it again. We’re a lot alike in that we don’t have a shortage of ideas. Time to write them is our questing beast.
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That’s a fear of mine. If I give up on this book then that kills the series. I’ve created a story network that depends too much on me finishing parts that lead to others. It’s a massive undertaking that requires time, which I simply can’t get my hands on. Explaining this to anyone seems to be even more daunting.
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Don’t have to explain it to me, or other authors. We get it. Those readers who are waiting for the next installment might benefit from reading this. My friends are pushing me into series work, and it kind of doubles the pressure.
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There is definitely pressure. Dropping to one release a year looks like my future if I’m lucky. That’s my attempt at optimism for the next week.
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It might have to be that way, but I’ll bet you can find a way. Willpower is a strong force.
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Think my willpower is stretched thin these days. Even Atlas felt the pressure of the world, which is why it was a punishment. Last week and this one coming up are fraying me.
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I think it is too. I read your posts. Maybe you need an actual break. A week where you don’t even try. If the time presents itself, ignore it and do something fun. I’m shifting into that mode right now, but I’m doing it slowly. It’s different than life causing you to lose writing time. It’s more about consciously taking a week for yourself. We all need a bit of that too.
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I’ve considered that, but it’s not an option. Summer break starts on Friday and summer camp starts Thursday. I get no pause between the two. Next break is end of August, but it isn’t much. To get that week to myself, I’d have to give up my son. That’s not an option at all.
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Weekends??? Maybe be a little bit selfish on one of them.
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I might do that simply out of pure exhaustion. That’s happened once or twice. Depends on if I’m left alone.
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Take the wheel. Go someplace so you can be left alone.
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I’ve tried to find a place, but everything is crowded. Library is closed for summer renovations too. Just not my year.
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I know you’re probably going to say this isn’t helpful, and I dare say you’ll have a list of reasons why it isn’t. Here’s the thing though: if you want to make writing work, and have your day come before you’re too old to make the most of it, you have to make it happen yourself. Yeah, I get it. Your life is busy, and things are draining you both physically and emotionally right now. Not to mention, the universe seems to have this plot to put things in the way of your writing time. But it happens to us all. Health issues. Family responsibilities. Etc, etc. You just have to see what you can do to make it work, and then do it. Yes, it’s easier said than done. But it can be done.
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That universe thing is the problem. I can’t make things work if the forces of fate are totally against me. I’ve had so many writing days get destroyed that it’s become almost sitcom level stupid. Technically, I should be getting every other weekend for writing. It just never happens because 8 times out of 10, an unexpected event happens. So, I can’t really see what I can do to make it happen.
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Since every person is different, I can’t tell you how you can achieve it. But it has to be you who does it. Only you can counter the universe’s attempts to stand in your way. I know it’s easier said than done, but I also know it can be done. I’ve got most of my backlist available in audio, published a couple of books, and kept up with online stuff, all while spending half my time in hospital, and 90% of the rest of my time feeling so bad I couldn’t even sit up for long. I found a way to make it work though. You can too.
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That’s the thing I keep saying. I’ve been trying for 7 months to make it work. It isn’t working at all. If I have enough energy after work then I’m hit by a personal issue that takes away the rest of my energy. If I avoid that then there’s been a power outage, stomach issues, unexpected family events, surprise encounters with the ex-wife, or something that prevents me from doing anything. The last time I touched my book was June 5th and I won’t be able to get to it again until June 29th. The weekends I had free were consumed by other people. Unless I snap and start screaming at everyone to leave me alone, I’m not getting anywhere. Most people here don’t have respect for what I do. They think I’ll just get to it another day or it doesn’t matter since I have a ‘real job’ now. Outside of going full hermit, I’m out of ideas. I can’t go to Starbucks or a coffee shop because they’re now set up to prevent people from staying inside for very long. I don’t drink coffee either. The library has finally decided to shut down for renovations after talking about it for 2 years, which is amazing considering I was planning on using them for a weekend escape at times. Again, the last two years seem to be filled with the universe countering everything I do. Either I lack the money to do something like getting audio books made or I can’t carve out even an hour. I’m still battling to make sure I get this coming weekend to finish 2 of the 3 remaining chapters of my book. Heck, I’m even having people tell me to simply quit because writing is ‘obviously’ causing me too much stress. The longest running escape for me is now being dubbed a problem instead of people doing what I ask, which is to give me time to write when I have energy. Letting me do it once I’m exhausted or handing the day over with a guilt trip just leads to problems. So, that’s some of the mountain I’ve been facing for the last 7 months. If one has nearly everyone around them (not counting Internet friends) getting in the way then I don’t see how they can get very far.
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Just don’t give up hope that you’ll find a way, and keep trying.
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I understand, Charles. I’ve not been writing much these last few weeks. I did a bit of a short story about one of my characters, but that’s about it. Life has a habit of getting in the way, but eventually the time appears.
As to getting old. I’m already well past what most would think of as the prime of life, but I still keep going with the thought that I must get it all done before the Big Guy in the sky calls me.
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That ‘last call’ is one thing that worries me. I feel like I created so much that every year I’m pushed back is the sacrifice of a few books.
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Don’t you find sometimes that an activity like a puzzle will set your creative side free at the same time? Maybe keep a notebook nearby while puzzling.
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I have notebooks nearby, but it doesn’t really happen. The puzzles I’ve been doing are complicated and require creative solutions.
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