Ogre- Do we have any of the monsters above in this chat room?
Vampire- I’m here, but I’m the romantic kind.
Dragon- That would be a no then. This is exactly the problem I was talking about last time.
Gremlin- At least the humanization process hasn’t reached all of us. Then again, we’re typically used as fodder for heroes these days.
Zombie- Am I supposed to be slow, fast, smart, dumb, infectious, talkative, or frozen? I don’t know what I am any more!
Demon- I believe we’re overreacting. Our kind have been changed from culture to culture since before the times of fiction writing. Dragon, you’ve been a fire-breathing lizard with wings and a wingless protector over the years. Mermaids have been beautiful and murderous. These changes happen.
Werewolf- I miss eating people.
Vampire- My cousin can still drink blood from humans. Though, he says some strong type that’s immune to sunlight turned up recently.
Fairy- At least you guys know you’re monsters. My kind never knows if they’re going to be good or evil until we appear on the page. The poor Leprechaun has been in therapy for decades.
Dragon- And we’re back to grievances instead of answers. What do you think, Mummy?
Mummy- I’m a terrible person to ask. My abilities have been at the whim of CGI for years and nobody remembers me for anything else. Zombies, skeletons, and ghosts always beat me out for the undead roles.
Ogre- You should get a better agent. I did after ogre was becoming too kiddie. I’ve gotten into a few fantasy stories since then. People still get me mixed up with orcs and trolls though.
Demon- I think that’s part of the problem. Many of us have become interchangeable with those who are closest to us. Authors will grab you, toss you into a scene, and give very little thought to your history. If I asked you to describe a demon then I’m sure you’d all come up with the same picture. Yet, my kind include such variety that is barely used outside of obscure works.
Gremlin- Fans can make things difficult too. An author tries to use a classic version of us and it can backfire. They’re either called a copycat of the current trend or told that they need to get with the times. Monsters are surprisingly criticized too.
Dragon- What about the science arguments? I can barely exist thanks to people pointing out that I make no sense. In a world of people hurling fireballs and making speeches with mortal wounds, it’s the giant flying lizard that’s unbelievable.
Giant- Preach on, scaly brother.
Vampire- On the plus side, we’re still finding work. Things would be a lot worse if people decided that stories shouldn’t have monsters any more. I’m always terrified that all of us will be cast aside because nobody wants us. Can you imagine that?
Demon- Sadly, I can, but there will always be a group in society that needs us. It could be video games, movies, TV shows, or books. You’ll always have at least one author who thinks stories need some monsters.
Ogre- Unless they replace all of us with aliens.
Werewolf- Wait, we don’t count them as monsters?
Gremlin- Not since they made their own guild and stiffed us on their last month of dues.
Werewolf- Oh . . . Screw those guys then.