Uncle Iroh from Avatar

Welcome to our tea shoppe!  I’m sure you’ve been told about all of our flavors, which you can pick yourself.  Oh, you weren’t told about that part.  Guessing the signs and a large fence around the property weren’t big enough clues.  First, we’ll set you up at a table and have you sign the waiver.  I guess you can sign it after we talk.  Just pick the teacup pattern and the type of kettle you want while we discuss.  This is by appointment, so we’re very busy.

Now, through that door is our garden where you may find every herb, fruit, and tea ingredient known to man.  Also some that are known only to elves, which is why we have a non-disclosure agreement for you to sign as well.  Now, all of these grow in different environments, so you have a wide variety of biomes.  That’s why we ask that you check both the map and catalog before you go out.  It isn’t mandatory, but it will save on time and make your adventure safer.  We don’t recommend wandering around out there, but it’s your choice.

The equipment you’re sent out with is all the same.  A basket for the ingredients, a glove with the laminated recipe you’ve requested, a backpack with clothing, shears, wand of bone smashing, and helmet of protection.  You can pay extra to carry along a sword, which we have a small collection of.  The only reason we aren’t very thrilled with this option is that wild swinging can damage the plants.  Bashing tends to get the job done if you need to open up something, destroy a rock, or kill one the predators out there.  There is a healing kit as well, but supplies are limited there.  Oh, that is a nice vine pattern and it would go nicely with the black tea you were looking at in the lobby.

We do have multiple waters and . . . Are you sure you want to talk about that so early in the conversation?  Well, you are the customer.  The ingredient garden is not under a dome or entirely blocked off from the world in any way.  While there are magical barriers within, those are only to separate the areas and prevent weather patterns from traveling.  Imagine if the snowstorms of the polar section went into the desert.  We’d lose a lot of product with that mess.  Anyway, this means that various creatures have wandered into our establishment and made homes.  Not all of them are bad.  The sprites in the jungle region are very helpful.  Sure, there’s a troll in the caves and we’re still negotiating with a dragon to reopen the swamp.  It’s all part of owning a business.  These things happen.

What warning on the wall?  Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.  The undead only wake up under a full moon and we have priests on staff t0 handle it.  Wait, that’s the werewolf issue we had.  Skeletons and zombies are only on the very hot days, but not too hot.  More of a spring and autumn problem.  No, vampires aren’t here.  Well, there are two who run the pastry counter, but they’re harmless.  As you can see, everything is under control and we haven’t had a fatality in weeks.  Now, please sign the waiver and then go make yourself the most relaxing cup of tea you can imagine.  Trust us when we say you’ll need it when you get back.