What was once vivid
Has faded into the bleak
Bright colors of youth
Have lost their luster
And continue draining
As the days go by
Is it the world around me
Or my own eyes have glazed?
Cataracts of pessimism
Forged by years of knowing
That life is no longer
Fun and games
__________________________________________________________
I actually came up with this poem idea earlier in the week. Thought I would remember it since I was driving, but it didn’t happen. Couldn’t even write it down because dying in a fiery wreck isn’t on my bucket list. Now, the day was overcast and gloomy because snow was coming. This immediately put me in a funk, which was increased by the usual stuff that is well-documented here. Gray weather always sinks my mood and it’s a slog to get any work done. At least these days.
Anyway, I passed by something that I’ve been passing ever since I went to elementary school. I don’t remember exactly what it was since I wasn’t paying full attention to anything other than where I had to make a left. Yet, my mind perceived that the object wasn’t the right color. I began noticing a melancholy coming over me and paid more attention to the colors around me. Things didn’t seem as bright as they were when I was a kid. I’m not talking about objects that had always been there. Just the entire world lacked something. Either that or I lacked it.
When watching my son explore the world, I wonder how vivid everything is since it’s all new to him. I’m old enough to have let most things fade into the background. Stop signs are only there when I’m driving. Trees and flowers aren’t examined with curiosity like when I was a kid. Things are simply there to me, but he sees nearly everything as a fresh experience. Maybe this is just part of being a kid and a side-effect of having very little knowledge and experience. Maybe things losing their vividness is part of life.
Yet, I do miss the sense of exploration and discovery, so maybe we aren’t really supposed to lose this part of ourselves. I can see how it’s useful, but I also know how often people tell you to leave it behind. Imagination, creativity, enjoying the world around you, and other ‘frivolities’ are either for kids or that 15-minute smoke break you get. Nobody wants to hear somebody talk about the beautiful flowers. They ask about your job. It really is like a cloak of translucent gray has been cast over my adult world and it takes a lot of conscious effort to see through to the vividness. Really makes me consider the possibility that we’re doing adulthood all wrong.
So true. I can usually recharge with a day in the forest, but winter puts a damper on that.
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It’s funny in a way. A beautiful snowy day is fine because the white is oddly relaxing. It’s all this gray that shows up that causes trouble.
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Since retiring I’ve made a point of noticing nature more and letting my inner kid resurface – it took some practice, but it’s worth it 👍🐵
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So maybe we get to revive it when we retire? The trick seems to be reaching that point in life.
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It’s like a hobby – start it now Charles 😃
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Easier said than done. Mostly because one does need something to go in their favor to be even a little optimistic.
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I understand your position Charles
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Then please explain it to me. I’m thinking I did something wrong in a past life and the universe is using this go-around to keep poking at me.
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If you believe in reincarnation, you were probably a right scoundrel Charles 😄
If you DON’T believe in reincarnation, you have a problem Houston 😱
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I’ll go with the scoundrel idea. At least then it makes more sense than me being born under a bad sign. Then again, that whole thing didn’t go very smoothly either.
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My star sign is Capricorn and Chinese sign is Ox so you can see how confused I can get 😄😄😄
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I’m an Ares Monkey. Creative and passionate. Though I think it also means I’m easily distracted and have a temper.
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Do you have an irresistible urge for bananas and love hanging from trees using your feet?
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No, but I do like climbing. Bananas never had an appeal. I can grab stuff with my feet, but nothing like a branch. Drives the wife nuts when I stretch to open cabinets with my toes.
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LOLOL
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I have to agree and that’s why I create a different world here in my mind and on paper. I also agree that retirement allows you to put the adult things behind you and smell the coffee.
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Good point. The desire for escape could be what drives many authors. Not only for ourselves, but for those that give our stories a chance.
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Yup.
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That poem seems very poignant to me. I also miss that sense of exploration and wonder. I love discovering that in the books others write.
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Books are a great way to revive it. One day I want to get that sensation from reality too. 😁
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Sometimes life gets dull and we have to stop and remind ourselves that everything isn’t supposed to be that way. Everyone should take a brief break every week to stop and smell the roses, unfortunately that’s easier said than done.
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Yeah. One challenge is that people don’t stop to smell the roses in groups. You stop for a sniff and somebody else yells at you for being lazy because they caught you in a downtime. I know this is one of my problems and a reason I’m always working on something. After years of being caught taking a break and scolded for it, I’m paranoid about the whole thing. Wonder if any other species stresses itself out like humans.
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No, humans are unique that way, crazy, but unique.
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Lovely poem. And I definitely agree with you. As adults, we really do end up doing everything “wrong.” Our innocence is taken away with age.
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Seems to be happening earlier and earlier too. I’ve met a lot of parents who are determined to show their kids how hard life is as soon as they can. Not sure I understand the mentality.
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Being a preschool teacher, I see that a lot. And it’s very sad.
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Even that young? Something so wrong about that.
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I’ve come across a lot of parents who should be not be parents…
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I live in the countryside and although I don’t walk this time of year, I still get to see herds of cows out my back door, and horses down the street. I still want to own some horses like my Grandpa before me, someday. These things help me to get through the winters.
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Very cool. Wish we had animals like that. Best here are some mean stray cats.
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We live in Amish country but there’s a lot of other farmers as well.
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