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Does this really need an intro? Sure most, if not all, of us have been here at some point. This is possibly a new thing I’ll do from time to time, which was inspired by John W. Howell’s Ten 10 Lists on Mondays.
- You start dreaming about editing and it steadily becomes a nightmare. Their, there, and they’re attack out of the shadows. You’re strapped to a chair and forced to watch all of your greatest typos play out in front of a giant crowd. Also, you’re naked and the dog ate your manuscript. Not sure where the dog came from, but it looks remarkably like your old English teacher who swore you wouldn’t be able to write your name much less a novel.
- You sit down to write at the laptop and blast away an epic chapter that is the best you’ve ever done. Your fingers flew across the keyboard for hours before you celebrate with a drink. Then you do a spit take when you realize that you forgot to turn the laptop on.
- You beg the clerk at the supermarket to beta read your shopping list, which you swear is Pulitzer worthy. Upon getting removed from the premises, you politely request that the police read and review your shopping list on Amazon. Don’t worry. You’re sure they won’t be tagged as friends or family.
- Somebody tore a piece of paper out of your notebook to write down a phone number and message. You lack the urge to attack and write their obituary in their own blood or at least curse at them. The revelation that you let it happen results in two hours of the fetal position and praying that the ghost of your favorite author doesn’t punish you for being weak. If your favorite author is still alive then add another hour of praying that they don’t find out you unintentionally wished death upon them.
- You catch yourself watching Reality TV. Worse is that it has given you a story idea that can only be removed with a lobotomy.
- The taste of coffee no longer appeals to you. You weren’t a coffee drinker in the first place, but that doesn’t seem to factor into your panic. Fearing that the end is near, you rush to the nearest clinic and demand a taste bud revitalization procedure. This is denied, but you were sent away with an assortment of anti-psychotics that all come from a popular company called Placebo Inc.
- You simply don’t have the energy to talk to or control your characters. They seem to know what to do, so you’re going to nap while they finish the first draft. With any luck, the family won’t call an exorcist this time and leave you explaining your author process to Father Bartholomew. He prefers non-fiction and you write fantasy, so the talks never end well.
Legends of Windemere 
Reblogged this on Jan Hawke INKorporated and commented:
Charles Yallowitz hits the proverbial nail, wall and thumb pretty expertly here – don’t dare say that you haven’t experienced most or all of these nightmares!
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Thanks for the reblog. Glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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When you lack the ability to murder someone and write their obituary, you know it’s bad. LOL
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Always fun. Though not recommended that you ask the target to be a proofreader.
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Haha!
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Haha! I love this!!! I’m a freelance writer for my day job, so author fatigue isn’t an option. I do, however, get tired of the game you have to play as an author. I just want to write! All this competition and worrying about sales and stressing about whether your next book will ever get published is just SO frustrating. We can only control so much of this…and that sucks!
Stephanie
http://stephie5741.blogspot.com
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Great point about the game. Some people thrive in it, but I know a lot of authors who despise that side of the equation. Hard to find the balance between artist and businessman.
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Reblogged this on Skorn and commented:
Oh dear, all very familiar!
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Yeah. Occupational hazards. 🙂
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You said it. I don’t get writer’s block, but this one is very familiar.
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Same here. Recharging is always important.
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Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog.
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Thanks for the reblog.
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Welcome Charles – Great post 👍😃
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Reblogged this on Shirley McLain and commented:
I think I know these feelings. Great blog.
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Thanks for the reblog. Glad you enjoyed it.
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Reblogged this on willmacmillanjones.
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Thanks for the reblog.
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Ha ha! These are all great! I know that fatigue feeling. Mine usually involves consuming mass quantities of chocolate. But number 7 appeals to me greatly today. 🙂
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Ah, chocolate. Is there any problem it can’t solve?
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I can’t think of any. I’m eating a chocolate chip cookie right now! It helps!
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I bought tootsie rolls.
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Didn’t know you knew Father Bartholomew. He’s scheduled to drop by later, to perform an exorcism on the wee one, aka the-one-who-wouldn’t-sleep. Give him my best when you next see him.
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I’ll pass the message along. Though I sense the wee one gets just enough sleep to continue along the path of making mommy and daddy age rapidly. Wish I had a suggestion for you.
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Are… are you watching us, or is sleep deprivation making me paranoid? WHERE ARE YOU??
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Ha! Like I have to be there to know what the early months of parenthood are like. You have joined an expansive and very sleepy club. We don’t have meetings because babysitters aren’t cheap.
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My badge seems to be a white stain on every piece of clothing I own. Sometimes, two.
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As long as it isn’t the furniture. Those are the worst.
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Not there yet. I’ll let you know 🙂
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I always look at it this way: Every human being was a newborn at some point. So we’re simply on the other end of the situation.
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Very mature of you 🙂
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Yup. Though one could also translate that as karmic retribution.
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I’ve done #5. Several times. Luckily I’ve never got as far as writing the story.
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I did it once or twice without the story. Just a lot of self-loathing afterwards.
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I love your lists, and your humour. I often find myself laughing out loud at the imaginative and humourous way you weave your words to make relatable points, and enable us to laugh through the pain 🙂 We’re with you, Charles!
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Thanks. This is my first time trying this type of thing, so I’m happy to see the warm welcome.
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You should definitely do it more often. When you write your progress reports, the humorous flair is akin to this -it was a hoot! 😀
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I’ll be using it every now and again. Same as the Olde Shoppe things that I have to bring back.
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Excellent. Sounds like a plan 🙂
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Great list Charles. I had to laugh at the grocery list beta and review requests. It would be grat to get a few of those. (“I’m sorry but that can of tomatoes just doesn’t belong in the list. It’s as if the author just tossed it in to fill a void.”)
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And who writes crackers next to lettuce? The words simply don’t flow.
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And why did we need to have that recipe attached? Way too much backstory.
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Not to mention all the typos.
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Yeah I was particularly disturbed with the term carrot with two T’s throughout the list.
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Yet rhubarb was spelled perfectly.
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And Boef was not.
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Supposedly, that’s Dutch for thief/rascal.
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Oh.
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That was my reaction too.
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Ha ha ha.
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Brilliant! Scary that I could identify with so many of those. Reblogging, if that’s okay.
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It definitely is a little spooky when you see how many of them you’ve gone through. 🙂
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Reblogged this on The Writers' Workshop Blog and commented:
Thanks to Charles Yallowitz for this entertaining post.
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You’re welcome. Thanks for the reblog.
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Nos. 6 and 7 have done me in. Sigh.
Talking about this helps, right? o_O. Like in all good support groups? 😀 😀
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I think so. Though part of the healing process is donuts or bagels. At least some kind of pastry on a table in the corner.
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Sigh. Bagel and donuts don’t do the trick anymore because after I enjoy them, I’m stuck in my chair. So embarrassing.
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Good point. That’s why I make sure to sit in chairs without arms.
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Reblogged this on Jeanne Owens, author and commented:
Heh heh 🙂
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Thanks for the reblog. 😀
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You’re welcome 🙂
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I thought I ad it all figured out until I decided to query. And then Satan said, “Make them write a synopsis.” And then there were all these agents to find…I know with social media it’s much easier, the infamous they say, but each one has their own criteria. I queried four before I realized I had misspelled the word “pairing” in the query letter. Got my first rejection letter yesterday and then my plumbing failed. Neither one wanted my shit. Argh!
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Wow. That sounds like a frustrating adventure with a surprise ending. Sorry about the plumbing.
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Laughed all the way through this, Charles. Am going to try to reblog this – my digital skills are limited. Brilliant!
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Glad you enjoyed it. Good to see the reblog went through. 🙂
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Reblogged this on SaylingAway.
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Thanks for the reblog. 🙂
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Very funny list Charles. And painfully apt.
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Thanks. I will admit to several cringes and sighs while writing it. It’s a difficult path we walk. 🙂
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Some of those points sound way too familiar.
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Good to know we’re not alone. Though I don’t think many will admit to the Reality TV one.
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I rarely watch TV, so that one actually doesn’t apply to me. 😉
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Lucky. Not much on these days.
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Oh God, I recognise the symptoms in me. Especially the editing dream and the possession one, oh dear and the reality tv. I`ll just go and hide in a corner.
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That Reality TV one really struck a chord with people. I sense many authors just wandered toward the nearest corner over that one.
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I’ve been a coffee-holic since I was pregnant with my son (he’s now 40 years old). Yet lately I find myself in automatic mode getting another mug of coffee and either not enjoy it because the taste has changed or letting it get cold and wretched, and therefore, not drinking it.
Still, I question whether this is author fatigue or a change in me that could improve my writing.
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Good question. I’ve had that happen with foods that I overindulge in. Eventually, they lose their spark and I need to take a break for a while. Usually happens with a type of candy or cereal for me.
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Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog and commented:
I believe I am exhibiting 8 of these 7 signs. How about you?
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Currently, I’m not sure. More life fatigue after a rough week.
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Great list.
You catch yourself watching Reality TV. Worse is that it has given you a story idea that can only be removed with a lobotomy. <haha.
Keeping your humour is a good sign!
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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Reblogged this on Julian Froment's Blog and commented:
Fun Post wiith some important medical advice contained herein.
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Thanks for the reblog. Very important to spread the word. 🙂
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Reblogged this on Kim's Author Support Blog.
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Thanks for the reblog. 🙂
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Reblogged this on Writer's Treasure Chest and commented:
What a unique blog post about the 7 signs a person is suffering from author fatigue. I had to re-blog it. Maybe some of us recognize the one or other sign? 😀
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Thanks for the reblog. 🙂
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It’s my pleasure! Thank you for this great post! 🙂
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You’re welcome. 🙂
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