Yahoo Image Search
I’ve mentioned many times that I lack an office space and how I’m envious of authors that can escape to a refuge. Well, the winter and summer seasons really drive this home. A snow day means no work and summer break results in the same thing. This coming summer will be the first one where my son doesn’t have a school program. So I’m going to see how editing only goes, which means I want to write two more first drafts (Books 10 & 11) before that time comes.
Now I’ve wondered if I’ll ever get a room to call my own. I know what I’d have there too. My exercise bike, a TV with DVD player, my laptop, a comfy chair, the desk, maybe a fish tank, a mini-fridge with seltzer and yogurt, and a lock on the door. I wouldn’t have a library because my wife and I share the books. Yet, the following conversation really makes me think this will never come to pass:
Me– One day I’ll have an office. Just a spot I can work in without fearing a disturbance. No phones beyond my cellphone too.
Wife– And a spot in the corner for my scrapbooking stuff.
Me– No. What part of ‘my office’ did you miss?
Wife– Then I get a scrapbooking room.
Me– You have the basement, part of our room, and part of the dining room. I’ve nearly hole-punched my foot on several occasions.
Wife– I want a room.
Me– *looks around bedroom* I think you’re covered.
Yeah. I know this goes into the personal realm here, but this has been weighing heavily on my mind. Also, she technically won that debate since I use the bedroom as an office and she has scrapbooking stuff on the floor. Many people don’t realize what they can do to support or take the edge off the author in their family. To the same extent, there seems to be an inability to figure this out for stay-at-home parents. So I’m going to touch on those two areas this week with some fun lists. For today I ask the question:
As an author/artist/overworked person, what do you really want from the people around you?
Legends of Windemere 
A. Silence, coffee and inspiration.
…and occasionally someone to say, ‘enough’ and drag me out into the fresh air.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Eh, one can open the window for fresh air without going outside. 😉
LikeLike
Not at all the same, Charles 🙂 Ani drags me out twice daily, like it or not 🙂
LikeLike
Ah well. Maybe you’ll find inspiration out there.
LikeLike
I usually do… though in this weather I’m sure I could find it chocolate by a nice warm fire… 🙂
LikeLike
Sounds like a great idea to me. 🙂
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
I totally agree with Sue. My husband and I share office space. His computer is in one corner and mine in the other, but our chairs are nearly side-by-side. I’m okay with that until he sits down to watch You Tube videos and keeps asking me to watch this or that. Such distractions. I bought him a pair of headphones so he could listen without disturbing me, but he didn’t take the full hint.
LikeLike
It’s the asking that gets to me. I sometimes sigh or mumble when I write, so I suddenly get asked a question. Though the people yelling up the stairs even when I’m shouting back that I’m busy take the cake.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think our husbands would get along very well! Maybe we should put THEM in an office to watch YouTube videos, and WE should have a quiet office to work in! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I want the people around me to not be there! Not every day, just 2-3 days a week.
LikeLike
Good idea. At least one weekend day in there.
LikeLike
usually Monday to paint, Thursday to write and whatever takes my fancy on Saturday. That doesn’t mean I don’t write most days, just that those days I try to have no plans for anything else. And that changes when necessary.
LikeLike
Painting and writing? Very cool combination. What do you paint?
LikeLike
mostly landscapes and seascapes in acrylic
LikeLike
Very cool. Those are always calming.
LikeLike
hahaha! now that’s funny 😛 Not that I ever feel that way – of course.
Ellespeth
LikeLike
It helps to live alone. hahaha
LikeLike
I shared an office for a while with my roommate, and it only workes because he’s also a writer who needs quiet and his own space. Now I live in the equivalant of a (small) studio, so my “office” is the corner my desk is in. The nice part being I have no roommates to disrupte me 🙂
LikeLike
Lucky. I don’t think I’ve had my own room or space since senior year of high school. I’ve always had a roommate or shared the room with somebody.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The trade off… to having this room to myself… is that the “studio” is an addition built onto my mothers house. Yup.. mid-30’s and essentially living in my mom’s garage.
But, it’s probably the nicest room I’ll ever live in 🙂
LikeLike
Mid-30’s, married with kid, and we live in the same house as my parents. Still trying to recover after a bad event.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s actually kind of nice to have more and more people living with their parents — so many different reasons, but it’s kind of a cool way to have more extended family community.
But, I’ve got no spouse, and no kids… I love that I have the space and time for myself to write, but think being married and having kids would be a pretty worthwhile trade-off.
LikeLike
It’s becoming more common today. Multi-generation houses definitely help in some areas, but it’d be nice to have our own place.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Silence! When my husband is home I get, “So, whatcha doin’?” My dogs set a paw on my knee with the face, “I’m bored. Come play with me.” Sometimes I want to rip my hair out. But– even my husband agrees that I need an office. He has a workshop in the garage, so he’s happy. I need my own writing space. I feel for you. I really do.
LikeLike
Thanks. Do you ever get the conversation while you actually have a pen/pencil to paper or are typing away? I always wonder how people don’t see what they’re walking toward when I get that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! This is WHILE I’m in the middle of working, typing away, my concentration on the screen. Sorry for my late reply.
LikeLike
No problem. Glad to hear I’m not the only one for that headache. 🙂
LikeLike
I have yet to formally ask my husband to not interrupt me when I’m in my room working. Yes, I do have a room of my own. But when you’re home, people think you’re available for anything just because you’re physically there. Still, I’m lucky that my husband is usually too busy with his own stuff to interrupt me much.
LikeLike
Good point on what people think when you’re home. I wonder if other home-based careers get the same treatment that artists do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think so. Over the years I’ve heard people with home-based businesses complain that their biggest problem is getting their family and friends to recognize that they need to work regular hours. Just because they are working at home doesn’t mean they’re free to drop everything to talk for an hour on the phone or go shopping. Seems like our society has been conditioned to only take home-based businesses seriously when the business is located outside the home 😉
LikeLike
That explains things perfectly. Maybe it stems from the idea that we have to keep home and work separate. So when it isn’t as clear a boundary, people get confused or don’t realize the difference.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And it’s even harder when you are your own boss, setting your deadlines. Then people think you should be flexible for them, even though you have just as much a need to meet your deadline as you would if you had a boss.
LikeLike
I always wondered about that mentality. It makes a lot of sense and makes me wonder if I’ve done it to others.
LikeLike
I be guilty 😉
LikeLike
Respect would be great, and for people to realize that I have more going on in my head than what color eye-shadow to wear tomorrow.
LikeLike
I fully agree. Except it isn’t eye-shadow that people think I’m thinking of. Tends to be food-related.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my! LOL. It is hard to get any respect though.
LikeLike
I find myself craving time alone just to write without having to attend to this and that. Not exactly possible with my family.
LikeLike
Yeah. One really has to find a way to prioritize without having one area fall too far behind.
LikeLike
As both the stay-at-home parent and the writer in the family, I have to say some understanding and support from the other side really goes a long way. It took him a few years to understand that, and he is doing much better than he used to. What would REALLY help, is if he would take the kids for a few hours every weekend so that my writing could be uninterrupted for a brief period out of every week. Unfortunately, his job has gotten extremely hectic in the past year, and I have to be understanding and supportive too. So for us, it’s a juggling game, and I appreciate as much emotional and mental support as I can get from him, while knowing that the practical support just isn’t possible right now.
I do have two desks in the house, but neither is in its own room with a door, let alone a lock. A closed room would be nice, but not possible unless we move to a different house. I guess we’ll see what the future brings!
LikeLike
Juggling game seems to be the best comparison. Glad to hear that you found some balance though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
All I really want is the freedom to spend the time needed to work. We have no kids at home so this is easy peasy. I do get a list of things needed to de done from a home perspective. I commit to getting these done and the timeframe so all is good.
LikeLike
Sounds relaxing and blissful. 😉 Do the four-legged kids behave too?
LikeLike
Hell no. They are the worst. Potty, eat, potty
LikeLike
I’m going to set up a small work place in my bedroom. When my son moves out, my sister and I are going to have a shared office. You might do something like this with your wife in the basement. One corner is yours and one is hers. It might be nice to move all “work” stuff out of the bedroom, unless it’s a very productive spot for you. I could just never get anything done in the same room I sleep. Right now, my bedroom is my only option though.
LikeLike
We tried that in our old apartment and I was gradually conquered. Think I was left with half a mouse pad and one bookshelf.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, yeah, we’re going to have our own desk, a shared tv between them, a small loveseat, and maybe a filing cabinet.
LikeLike
I plan on having a mini-fridge too. Just for yogurt and seltzer.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You covered my wishes with the photo attached. No phone. No knocking on the front door…no talking. No moving around and no breathing. I need a hut somewhere, I think.
LikeLike
What about a treehouse?
LikeLike
Yes, please… 🙂 I’ll share if you promise to ignore me completely.
LikeLike
We’ll make a tree co-op. 🙂
LikeLike
Sounds perfect 🙂
LikeLike
Wow, this is a tough one, especially if you don’t have much extra space to use for these types of specific purposes. I guess all I really want is support for what I do, I guess that really is all any of us want. I have some extra room that I can use, but nothing with a door, so I guess in some ways I’m in the same boat as you. Good luck with this one, it’s tough.
LikeLike
Good point. Lack of space can be overcome with support and understanding from those you share the house/apartment with. You could always put a sign on the floor or a safety cone in the way. 😉
LikeLike
Does it count as a private office if I leave the door open so I can keep an ear on the household doings?
LikeLike
Good question. Honestly, I think that’s just common sense. Don’t want to come out of a writing stupor to find things on fire and the kids are putting a second coat of paint on the cat.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol, this is always a challenge for me. My husband, bless him, does not realize that playing World of Warcraft next to me without headphones is distracting, and drives me absolutely batty. We share a room where I write and he plays, but I don’t think he believes I’m really doing anything other than staring off into space and hitting random keys to look busy. It kills me if I’m in the middle of something dramatic, like a battle or love scene, and then this happens –
The Hubby: “Soooo… what’s for dinner?”
Me: “Writing. You pick. Love, love, love in your general direction.”
The Hubby: “How long do you think you’ll be?”
Me: “Dunno. I’m in the middle of something, but soon-ish maybe.”
The Hubby: “Can you come with me?”
Me: *twitches* “I love your face so much right now, but I’m busy, and I need to stay here until I finish this scene.”
The Hubby: “But I neeeeeed you to go with me.”
At this point I realize he’s messing with me on purpose and I plot how best to murder him because I’ve lost momentum in the scene, and now my warrior is sitting cross-legged in a clearing picking daisies and contemplating fluttering butterflies instead of preparing for a bloody battle to the death.
Lol, I really just need no talking around me, and time. People always decide they want to do something when I sit down to write. Not before or after, but as soon as I sit down or mid-scene. XD
LikeLike
I have music on, but it’s talking directing at me that throws me off. So I totally understand. Though the music at a proper volume can keep some people at bay.
I applaud your self-control too. My wife chatting away gets 2 warnings and then I do stuff. Confiscate scrapbooking stuff, hog the popcorn, threaten to find a Twilight movie on TV, etc.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oooo – you have given me a new weapon! I shall have to get the Twilight ready! XD
And I love music when I’m writing too – that helps a lot.
LikeLike
Just remember that you might have to take the hit too there. It’s a last act that should only be done in desperation. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Once or twice a week, I’d like an entire day without having to figure out ‘what’s for dinner’ – including not having to take part in preparing it and cleaning up after it. That would give me an entire afternoon and evening for writing.
I hadn’t really thought about this until you asked. I might see if I could pull this off with maybe left overs on those days. That would make it simple all the way around.
Ellespeth
LikeLike
I get that a few times. Though it tends to result in dinner finishing later than I’d like, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers. It isn’t really an entire day too because I have to attend to the little master of the house.
Leftover nights are definitely helpful when you’re busy.
LikeLike
Yes, I wouldn’t get an entire day either. We watch toddlers/infants a few hours each morning. But it would at least be from 1PM till bed. I’d even skip out of formal sit down together supper. It’s a total trade off, actually. Both people, in a relationship, need some alone time during the week. Writers just happen to spend our alone time writing – or hoping to write – the great American anything 😛
It’s important, too, to enjoy the time not writing…which retirement and part-time toddler care has allowed.
Ellespeth
LikeLike
Think that’s where butting heads comes in, especially during the weekends. You have the working parent wanting to relax while the stay-at-home parent wants to relax. Sadly, it tends to come down to whoever hits the bathroom last and gives the other enough time to escape the house.
LikeLike
I have to be in the right place, mentally, to write and I have trouble writing when I’m grieving or worried. So what the people I love could do for me is stop being ill or getting old, and if my friends could not die quite so often, that would be good too. I have an office but it’s full of toys so I can’t go in there when my son is around as he follows me in and asks for stuff. 🙂
Cheers
MTM
LikeLike
Children do seem to claim every space they can find. Sorry about the illness/aging issue.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s life. If there weren’t any hard times my books would be the poorer for it. I wouldn’t appreciate the fantastic things I do have, either. It’s all light and shade, texture and smoothness, bitter and sweet. 🙂
I hope you find your mojo soon.
Cheers
MTM
LikeLike
But when do the hard times give it a rest? I know I have some ‘easy’ days, but it always feels like those happen when I’m too exhausted to enjoy them. I guess what I’m wondering is if that’s supposed to be adulthood or somebody is playing a big joke on humanity.
LikeLike
That’s true. That’s part of the reason I have to take it slowly. Sometimes an hour of writing is all that’s in me. Sometimes I’ll come away from that hour with 2,000 words in the bag, other times I’ll have three hours to write and get 500 words that were like pulling teeth! The important thing is that you keep going. That you achieve an incredible rate of production and that maybe a little reset time is ok.
Cheers
MTM
LikeLike