Due to some confusion, we (Ionia & Charles) feel that something should be made clear.
We aren’t married.
We are very close friends that care a lot about each other and are comfortable enough to tease and banter without holding back. To that end we are announcing our ‘Nonmarriage’ with this announcement:
You are all cordially NOT invited to the non-existent wedding of Ionia Martin & Charles Yallowitz.
Earl the invisible hillbilly will be the best man and Becky Sue the always pregnant redneck will be the maid of honor. All bridesmaids and flower girls have been graciously provided by Becky Sue.
These two shall NOT be exchanging vows beyond threatening each other with squirrels and short jokes.
Join neither of them for a non-existent banquet where you have to bring your own beer, the cupcakes are catalogue pictures, and the DJ is nothing more than Pandora.
Hope everyone enjoys the party that isn’t happening and remember:
We are Not married.
Legends of Windemere 
Finally 🙂
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Apparently, it’s been a long time coming.
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I hope you will both be happy unmarried
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It’ll be tough, but I think we can manage. She’s still throwing squirrels at me.
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Just duck and you’ll be fine
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She’s aiming for the knees, so I’ll have to jump.
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Good plan. Just avoid those damn squirrels, they tend to be a bit vicious when they fly through the air and stop suddenly.
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One day, I’ll find a rodent army of my own to stand up to her. Trying to use capybara, but it’s a work in progress.
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Well they would certainly take apart a squirrel army, but damn they are ugly
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I always thought they were kind of cute. Better looking than rats.
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Absolutely, rats are the worst
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Having images of the NYC rats I’ve seen a few times. Thought they were small dogs at first.
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I have heard about the rats in NYC, not something I would like to meet down a dark alley
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Not much better in a brightly lit park.
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I can imagine. But I suppose at least you can see them to run
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And run you will if they think you’re interesting.
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They could think I am boring and whiny, and of no interest at all and I will still run, as fast as I can
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Just watch out for the coyotes, muggers, panhandlers, taxis on the sidewalk, and a naked dancing cowboy. Doesn’t NYC sound like an adventure? 😉
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It certainly does. A veritable cornucopia of distractions.
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That it is. Always nice to find a central spot though. My friend and I need to find a new one. We used to hang out at the Seaside Port, but Superstorm Sandy destroyed it. That and the food court closed the bar.
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I am sure there are plenty of serviceable bars around, just need to find one you are comfortable with I suppose
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There are, but finding one sitting between a pizza vendor and a Subway sandwich shop? Also across from a Chinese food stand? Can’t be done.
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You may not be married, but you never cease to entertain us
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We try. 😀
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We never even announced our non engagement.
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It was such a whirlwind friendship that we entirely forgot. Too late now.
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Oh well thanks for not getting me a ring
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You’re welcome. It was the least I could do.
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It’s such a tiny non ring you cheap bastard
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It took a lot of non-quarters to get that out of the vending machine in the mall.
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I wasn’t there that day
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See what happens when I’m left unsupervised?
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I am glad that you are friends. You both make the world a little brighter for all of us 🙂
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Thanks. We try. 😀
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Where do I send the non-gift? Are you serving non-caviar and non Champaign or just non-beer?
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It’s an open non-bar with top shelf booze. We went with the non-sundae bar instead of caviar. The chocolate fountain isn’t there either.
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wow. Sounds like my kind of non place
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Send all squirrel related items to Charles. I will take the cupcakes.
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Ionia gets anything made of alpaca hair and I get the tequila shots.
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Your pants are made of alpaca hair lol
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I switched over to llama last week.
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I thought you smelled weird
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Yeah, but the lladies love it.
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I’m gonna llurch
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Addams Family was a great movie.
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Girlscout cookies…
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Always delicious.
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Real Girl Scouts
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I want Thing. He’d be so useful.
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Non cup cakes you mean?
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Sadly, yes.
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Uncongratulations! I hope you’ll continue to be very happy apart.
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We are lol
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“She’s aiming for the knees, so I’ll have to jump.” Unintentionally, you just established that the truth of what you say here. If you were married, she’d be aiming for the head.
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Ain’t that the truth.
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Hahaha, happy unwedding day. You two are so uncute together. 😉
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Thanks. 😀
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Congrats on the non-wedding. Will there be leftover non-wedding cake for the non-guests? 😉
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All the non-wedding cake you can eat and hide in your suit pockets. 😉
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You mean we have to come dressed? I thought attire was optional!
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It is, but a suit has more pockets than jeans and a t-shirt.
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Well then, I’ll have my hillbilly hat on to scoop up the remains. I’m sure everyone else will not eat their non-cake. Gah, now I’m really hungry. Wonder what’s for supper!
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Don’t look at me. I’m eating M&M’s. Dinner of champions.
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There’s a wedding I can afford not to attend, and a wedding gift I can afford not to give. Congratulations, though I’m not sure if it’s in order. 🙂
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Non-congratulations can be given. 😉
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I commented on Ionia’s. I’ll side with the unbride. 😉
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Most people do.
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lol..that was good…
Dawn and I are not married either. Why I say “My Partner” We both made the promise and uphold it every day. These days it seems that “Piece of paper” to symbolise Marriage means not a lot, sadly. The way we see it is, we are happy, in love , so why fix something that is not broken. I know a ton of people who were happy, got married then fell out.
Long as you are Happy…
Good post
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That does happen. Though, Ionia and I are really best friends. We’re not even in the same state.
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But you are dating?
Sorry if I am being to “Questiony”
I have no idea if this is a word..
lol
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Not dating. Just really good friends. The reason for the post was that some people were jumping to the conclusion that we were an item.
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AHHH, I C….
I am trying to read more of your blog.
Forgive me.. lol
I shall catch up..
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No problem. It happens all the time.
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I see that 🙂
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OMG you guys are wonderful…I think the mix-up came because of a chance “Are you coming home….” a few posts ago! For a sec…well maybe a mo’ I thought you might have been at least related! 🙂
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Nope. We’re over 2,000 miles apart. Wondering where that comment is now.
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Oh my…maybe a week or so ago…hard to tell…she quipped something about being home for dinner…or are you going to be home soon…sorry…getting old so my memory fails me!
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The confusion has been going on for a lot longer than that. Not really sure why.
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The banter I guess gives a feeling of intimacy…I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you…people are match makers already…no?
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That they are. It gets funny at times.
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Yeah…you got to have a sense of humour…or was that humor?
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I say humor, she says humour. The spellchecker is on my side.
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